Dear Life Kit: I can't stop thinking about my crush
Jun 10, 2024
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Sex and relationship expert Shan Boodram discusses managing unrelenting crush feelings and reconnecting with a past crush. The podcast delves into the complexities of adult attraction and offers advice on navigating messiness in new relationships.
Embrace lingering feelings for past crushes as enjoyable memories; avoid pressuring for romantic outcomes.
Address cleanliness and compatibility issues openly in new relationships; communicate early to navigate lifestyle disparities.
Deep dives
Crushes from the Past
Some individuals struggle with lingering feelings for past crushes, leading to a mix of emotions. Shan Boudram suggests embracing such sentiments as they can be enjoyable and valuable, while acknowledging that these crushes may just remain as pleasant memories without further pursuit. If contemplating reaching out to an old crush, Shan advises using a personal growth approach and focusing on understanding past interactions rather than pressuring for a romantic outcome.
Navigating Messy Relationships
Dealing with a partner's messiness and table manners can be a source of conflict in a new relationship. Shan Boudram emphasizes the importance of addressing such issues openly and directly, suggesting a gentle yet honest conversation about differences in cleanliness standards. Timing-wise, Shan advises not delaying discussions on important matters, indicating that compatibility also involves addressing and working through lifestyle disparities early on.
Timing and Relationships
When faced with a promising connection that may be affected by future circumstances like moving, Shan Boudram suggests fully experiencing the present while being transparent about eventual changes. She encourages exploring the relationship's potential without holding back due to impending challenges, recognizing the value of the experiences gained even if the timing eventually leads to a separation. Communicating openly about expectations and acknowledging individual growth can help navigate complex emotional situations.
Sex and relationship expert Shan Boodram weighs in on listener questions about crushes: unrequited love, romance with an expiration date, and reaching out to someone from your past.