The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Ep. 65: How Behavior Changes

Jan 18, 2022

Discover the fascinating blend of self-acceptance and behavioral change, where embracing who you are can lead to real transformation. Delve into the science behind parenting challenges and the importance of community support. Engage with stories of personal growth, highlighting compassion as a crucial element in understanding children's behaviors. Learn practical tips for navigating the complex journey from maladaptive behaviors to meaningful connections, all underscored by insights from relational neuroscience.

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INSIGHT

Acceptance Enables Real Change

Acceptance is key for genuine change to occur in ourselves or others.
Change rooted in integration needs an open, flexible, and compassionate approach.

INSIGHT

Desperation Hinders Change

Desperation to change often creates rigidity, not flexibility needed for integration.
True change requires a shift from desperation to a more integrated and compassionate mindset.

INSIGHT

All Seek Connection Despite Behavior

Every person, even those with difficult behaviors, is fundamentally seeking connection.
Behaviors pushing away connection are protective responses to fear and hurt.

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“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl Rogers

You know, one of my favorite things about studying relational neuroscience is discovering the science that proves things we’ve known all along.

Not everyone needs the science, and I know some think the science detracts from the powerful truths that people have been brave enough to say and believe without having science to back it up.

I think both approaches are fine. I just happen to like the science.

And yup, the science backs it up.

Acceptance really is needed if we want behavior to change.

I find this truth to both a bummer and also quite liberating.

How do we accept something without sending the message the it’s ok, no big deal, and there’s no need for it to change?

It’s hard, but possible. You’ll hear my own journey toward this truth and a couple tips on how to do it yourself in this episode.

Read a long summary of this episode here: https://robyngobbel.com/howbehaviorchanges

Professionals who work with parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Join us for Reframing Resistance: Supporting Parents and Caregivers thru the Lens of Relational Neuroscience.

See the website for all details and to register!

RobynGobbel.com/ReframingResistance

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)