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Speaking of Psychology

How to learn from regret, with Robert Leahy, PhD

Jan 24, 2024
Dr. Robert Leahy, author of 'If Only…Finding Freedom From Regret,' discusses productive and unproductive regret, rumination, and coping strategies. They explore the power of regret as a tool for change, the complexity of regret and ambivalence, the negative impact of social media, the sunk cost effect, and regrets at different stages of life.
45:50

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

  • Productive regret involves learning from mistakes and anticipating future choices, while unproductive regret is characterized by self-criticism and dwelling on past actions without using them as opportunities for growth.
  • In the long term, individuals often regret what they did not do, such as pursuing education, careers, or relationships, highlighting the importance of reflecting on missed opportunities and aligning decisions with values and future goals.

Deep dives

Regret as a Tool for Learning and Change

Regret is both a cognitive and emotional experience that arises from disappointment or remorse about an action taken or not taken. It is a pervasive emotion that can linger for years and lead to rumination. However, regret can also be productive if used as a tool for learning and self-correction. Productive regret involves learning from mistakes and anticipating future choices. On the other hand, unproductive regret is characterized by self-criticism and dwelling on past actions without using them as opportunities for growth. Cultivating adaptive humility, accepting trade-offs, and countering the sunk cost effect are effective strategies to overcome regret and make better decisions.

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