Performer Will Young shares his struggle with comparing himself to others, the importance of connecting with others, and physically moving trauma out of his body. They discuss rejection and the negative impact of comparison. They also explore the power of storytelling, building self-esteem, sharing hopeful stories, managing anxiety, and listening to and honoring your body.
High achievement can sometimes be used to mask pain and hinder mental health.
Comparing oneself to others can lead to a lack of enjoyment and unhappiness.
Connecting with others and physically moving trauma out of the body are important for mental well-being.
Deep dives
Navigating Mental Health and Emotions
Will Young, a musician and author, reflects on his journey of navigating mental health and emotions. He discusses the distractions of high achievement and constantly comparing oneself to others, leading to a lack of enjoyment and unhappiness. He also opens up about his experience of depression, anxiety, and childhood trauma, which led to a breakdown and the need for extensive therapy. Will emphasizes the importance of connecting with others in safe spaces and taking inventory of relationships that make one feel unsafe. He highlights the significance of physical well-being, including practices such as lying on the floor and engaging in acupuncture to calm the nervous system. Will also acknowledges the challenges of fame and dealing with rejection in the industry. He shares his thoughts on authenticity, storytelling, and creating a space for open vulnerability. Will concludes by discussing his book, which explores various topics related to well-being and aims to provide understanding and support to readers.
Coping with Rejection and Comparison
Will Young reflects on the challenges of coping with rejection and comparison in the entertainment industry. He shares personal experiences of being dropped from shows and being compared to others, discussing the impact it has on his self-esteem and mental well-being. Will highlights the importance of observing and addressing uncomfortable feelings, using techniques such as reframing comparison as a dead-end road. He emphasizes the significance of owning one's story and discussing the less glamorous aspects of success to provide others with permission and support to share their own struggles. Will also touches on the pressure of societal beauty standards, the effects of aging, and the feminist perspective on cosmetic procedures.
Understanding the Nervous System and Self-Care
Will Young delves into the importance of understanding the nervous system and prioritizing self-care. He discusses the impact of anxiety and panic attacks, particularly in the context of driving on the motorway. Will shares his personal journey in finding various self-care practices to help manage his physical and mental well-being. He highlights the significance of connecting with the body, engaging in calming activities like lying on the floor, and seeking treatments such as acupuncture and equine therapy. Will encourages individuals to listen to their bodies, find tools that work for them, and be compassionate towards themselves in the process of navigating and managing their nervous system.
The importance of physically moving trauma out of your body
Will discusses the importance of physically moving trauma out of the body to improve mental well-being. He shares personal experiences of using techniques like yoga, cold water swimming, and body therapy to release trapped energy and tension. Will emphasizes the power of these practices in helping to calm the nervous system and alleviate anxiety and stress. He also highlights the significance of listening to one's body and finding individual methods to honor and support physical well-being.
The struggle with anxiety and the need for self-care
Will opens up about his struggles with anxiety and the challenges he faced during his breakdown. He reflects on the frustration and limitations he experiences, particularly in relation to his career in TV and radio. Will shares his realization that certain situations trigger anxiety and emphasizes the need for self-care and self-compassion. He highlights the importance of listening to one's nervous system, recognizing individual boundaries, and finding activities and practices that promote a sense of calm and well-being.
If you’re a high achiever, do you ever wonder if you sometimes use success to mask pain? Performer Will Young recognises this is something he did for many years. Now though, he’s discovered the importance of actively connecting to others and physically moving trauma out of his body when he finds himself in a low place.
In this chat with Fearne he explains how he spent much of his career comparing himself to others in a way that was crippling for his mental health, and they both explore why they struggle to deal with rejection.
Will’s podcast, The Wellbeing Lab, is out now and Will’s new book Be Yourself and Happier: The A-Z of Wellbeing is out on April 21 via Penguin Books.
CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains conversations about suicidal thoughts.