TED Talks Daily (#8) Elise’s Top Ten: Change your story, change your life | Lori Gottlieb
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Sep 20, 2025 
Lori Gottlieb, a renowned psychotherapist and bestselling author, dives into how the narratives we construct influence our lives. She emphasizes that we often become unreliable narrators, stuck in misleading stories. By reframing these tales, we can ignite personal freedom and responsibility. Gottlieb shares practical editing tools, encouraging listeners to rewrite their narratives from diverse perspectives. She advocates for using our mortality as a powerful lens to transform our stories and unlock new possibilities.
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Married Woman's Betrayal Dilemma
- Lori Gottlieb describes an email from a married woman who discovered her husband's secret late-night calls and fears betrayal.
- The woman worries about trust and the impact of divorce on her children, illustrating a personal dilemma therapists often see.
We Are Unreliable Narrators
- Gottlieb argues we are unreliable narrators who emphasize certain details and omit others when telling our life stories.
- She claims our narratives shape our lives, so changing the story can change outcomes.
Therapist As Editor
- Gottlieb frames her therapeutic role as an editor who helps people trim extraneous details and clarify themes in their life stories.
- She focuses editing around two recurring themes: freedom and change.