David Yeager, a developmental psychologist and author of "10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People," shares key insights on motivating young adults. He tackles the 'mentor's dilemma,' emphasizing the need for a balance between authority and empathy in mentorship. Yeager discusses the neurological development of adolescents and the profound impact of a sense of belonging on motivation. He highlights the power of constructive dialogue and positive reinforcement over criticism, providing a toolkit for parents and mentors to inspire and engage the next generation.
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The Mentor's Dilemma
Mentors often face a dilemma: be tough but potentially demotivating or be soft but ineffective.
This dilemma arises from ineffective communication, not young adults' inherent sensitivity.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
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Uphold high standards while providing support to avoid demotivation.
Clarify your intentions to show you care and believe in the young person's potential.
insights INSIGHT
Sensitivity to Status and Respect
Young people (10-25) have brains sensitive to social status and respect, impacting their motivation.
They seek the feeling of valuable contribution acknowledged by their social group.
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In this book, David Yeager presents groundbreaking research on motivating young people between the ages of 10 and 25. He challenges the conventional 'incompetence model' of adolescent behavior, which views young people as lacking in maturity, self-control, and decision-making ability. Instead, Yeager introduces the social belonging theory, emphasizing that young people are driven by a deep need for social connection and belonging. The book explains how adults can adopt a 'mentor mindset' by validating young people’s perspectives, asking them questions, being transparent about their beliefs and goals, and holding them to high standards. This approach has been shown to reduce various behavior problems, including school dropout, unhealthy eating, stress, and mental health issues. Yeager's work provides a constructive and hopeful perspective on adolescent development, offering actionable insights for educators, parents, and mentors to create environments that foster motivation, resilience, and success[2][3][5].
The outsider
Colin Wilson
In 'The Outsider,' Colin Wilson examines the psyche of the Outsider through the lives and works of various literary and cultural figures such as Albert Camus, Jean-Paul Sartre, Ernest Hemingway, Hermann Hesse, and Fyodor Dostoyevsky. The book delves into the Outsider's experience of dislocation and his struggle to find meaning and purpose in a world that seems devoid of it. Wilson argues that the Outsider is a metaphysical man who seeks a transcending meaning and purpose for human existence, often feeling isolated and disconnected from society. The book is both a study of the Outsider's predicament and an impassioned call for a new form of existentialism that could provide a satisfying and objective religious understanding of life.
If you’re a parent, teacher, coach, or manager who lives, loves, and works with tweens, teens, and 20s-somethings, you know that young people sometimes act in seemingly head-scratching ways, that you don’t always feel like you’re being listened to, and that it can be frustrating to try to guide them in acting towards positive ends.
The source of these challenges is often chalked up to the underdeveloped brains and hormones that tweens through young twenty-somethings possess. But my guest would say that what’s more to blame is the ineffective way mentors often approach young adults.
David Yeager is a developmental psychologist and the author of 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People: A Groundbreaking Approach to Leading the Next Generation—And Making Your Own Life Easier. Today on the show, David and I discuss the “mentor’s dilemma” — the idea that you either have to be a tough authoritarian who holds young adults to high standards or a softie push-over who doesn’t crush a kid’s spirit — and how to navigate through this unnecessary dichotomy. David explains the critical importance of understanding what really drives young adults, what approaches cause them to shut down and disengage, and the best practices that parents, teachers, and other mentors can take to leave young adults feeling inspired, enthusiastic, and ready to contribute.
The Art of Manliness 
