Themes: Attachment Theory, Conflict, Relationships, Intimacy, Parenthood
Summary:
Today I’m joined by John Kim and Vanessa Bennett for a wonderful conversation discussing the core themes from their new book, “It’s Not Me, It’s You,” including how to navigate differences in your relationship.
John Kim (aka The Angry Therapist) and Vanessa Bennett are not only licensed therapists and relationship coaches but master plate spinners. Writing books, hosting podcasts, creating mental health content, and raising their toddler are just a few of those spinning plates.
Before their worlds collided, they each experienced the painful expiration of long term relationships which thrust them into their inner journeys, personal therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people relationship better. As a couple, they are committed to being transparent about their baggage, bullsh*t, and the slippery knots of their own imperfect relationship to help illuminate the surprising issues that hinder all of us from finding, enjoying, and sustaining love.
Discover:
- How to navigate different love languages
- Framing your differences as opportunities
- Tips for navigating conflict with your partner
- The difference between doing life with someone vs. doing life at or around them
00:00 Intro
04:00 Therapists are human too
07:20 Writing a book with your partner
10:03 Different love languages
16:55 The anxious/avoidant dance
19:07 Differences in relationship
23:33 It’s in the small moments
28:20 Handling conflict
35:11 Past relationships vs. now
39:00 Softness & vulnerability in relationship
41:00 Greatest challenges in couples
47:22 Being transactional
53:47 Clean anger is necessary
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