Brené Brown discusses the power of vulnerability at work, setting boundaries, and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. They also rethink the assumption that vulnerability is a sign of weakness and explore the fear of shame as a barrier to vulnerability. The podcast covers the importance of vulnerability in leadership, the role of language in understanding emotions, and the fear of vulnerability in a performative culture.
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Quick takeaways
Vulnerability is not weakness, but rather uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.
Setting boundaries is crucial in practicing vulnerability, as it ensures authenticity without compromising personal privacy or psychological safety.
Deep dives
Dispelling the Myth about Vulnerability
In this podcast episode, Brene Brown discusses the misconception that vulnerability is weakness. She highlights that vulnerability is actually uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Brown shares stories from soldiers and professional athletes who emphasize the inseparable connection between vulnerability and courage. At work, people often choose to armor up to protect themselves and adhere to societal expectations. Armor can manifest in the form of cynicism, perfectionism, or a need to always be right. Brown emphasizes the importance of dispelling the myth that vulnerability is weakness.
Letting Go of Expertise as Armor
In this segment, Brene Brown and Adam Grant discuss how people frequently use expertise or performance as armor, especially in response to past experiences of rejection or not feeling good enough. Brown shares her personal journey of switching armor from being a 'loud party girl' to being perceived as 'the smart kid.' Grant reflects on his own experience of excelling in sports and academia to gain acceptance and admiration. They both express a desire to shift their focus from proving and perfecting to challenging themselves and embracing learning. Letting go of expertise as armor requires vulnerability and self-acceptance.
The Challenges of Vulnerability for Men
Brown and Grant discuss how vulnerability can be more challenging for men due to societal expectations and the fear of being perceived as weak. They highlight the shame trigger of not being seen as weak for men and the pressure to continually prove their strength. Brown emphasizes that vulnerability is a big ask in a society where vulnerability is often equated with weakness. They explore the potential influence of different work environments, such as the military or professional sports, where vulnerability discussions may be more accepted. They also delve into the misconception around toxic masculinity and offer alternative ways to discuss masculine and feminine norms.
Navigating Vulnerability in the Workplace
In this segment, Brown and Grant tackle the challenge of appropriate vulnerability in the workplace. They discuss the fear of being perceived as incompetent if one is vulnerable at the wrong time or with the wrong person, especially in performance-oriented cultures. Brown emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and understanding the intention behind sharing vulnerability. She highlights that vulnerability without boundaries is not true vulnerability. Grant shares his own experience of navigating personal privacy while still maintaining openness and authenticity. They both conclude that authentic vulnerability creates psychological safety and enables individuals to be their true selves.
We usually wear our thickest armor at work, and Brené Brown has blazed the trail of teaching us why and how to shed it. In this conversation, Adam and Brené unpack the power of showing vulnerability at work — and explore how much is too much. Learn when and where to set boundaries, find out how to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable, and hear Brené rethink a key assumption that she took for granted in her own work. The transcript for this episode is available at go.ted.com/RT-vulnerability
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