Is a "Viking" Childhood a Happier Childhood (with Helen Russell)?
May 12, 2025
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Helen Russell, a British journalist and author of 'The Danish Secret to Happy Kids', shares her enlightening experience of parenting in Denmark. She discusses how Danish children thrive on outdoor play and acceptable risks, contrasting it with more protective parenting styles in the U.K. and U.S. Russell emphasizes the core values of trust and autonomy in fostering happier, independent kids. She also uncovers how embracing risks during adolescence builds resilience and essential life skills, advocating for a balanced approach to happiness and responsibility.
Danish parenting emphasizes outdoor play and risk-taking, promoting independence and confidence in children from an early age.
The concept of 'tillid' or community trust is integral in Danish culture, fostering secure environments for children to explore their capabilities.
Danish parents prioritize personal growth and emotional well-being over academic achievement, allowing children to develop social skills through unstructured play.
Deep dives
The Nordic Happiness Advantage
Nordic countries such as Finland and Denmark consistently top the World Happiness Report, which suggests that their approach to raising children significantly contributes to this happiness. According to journalist Helen Russell, the foundations of this joyous upbringing begin in childhood, where values such as independence and community trust are instilled early on. Russell's own experience in Denmark highlighted the significant role of societal values, showcasing how trusting communities foster happier individuals. This approach contrasts sharply with the more individualistic and competitive parenting styles often observed in the U.S. and U.K.
The Importance of Trust and Autonomy
Central to Danish parenting is the concept of 'tillid,' which translates to a blend of trust and faith among community members. This trust extends to children, allowing them to explore their capabilities from a young age, such as dressing themselves or even using sharp objects in a safe environment. Danish daycare systems encourage autonomy, with children gaining independence through activities like dressing themselves or outdoor exploration. This nurturing trust ultimately leads to happier, more capable children who feel confident in their independence.
Emphasizing Process Over Product
Danish parenting prioritizes the process of learning and personal growth over academic performance and accolades. In contrast to the intense pressure placed on children in other countries to achieve high grades, Danish parents focus on cultivating happy, well-rounded individuals. This philosophy is reflected in a lack of emphasis on early academic learning, as children engage in unstructured play until they reach school age. As a result, children develop critical social and emotional skills that contribute to their overall contentment and success later in life.
The Role of Play in Child Development
Play is not merely an activity for Danish children; it serves as a primary vehicle for learning and development. Danish culture places immense value on various forms of play, from structured games to unstructured free play. Research supports this notion, showing that children who learn through play tend to be happier, calmer, and better communicators. As parents in Denmark prioritize playtime and integrate it into daily life, they foster environments where children can thrive academically and emotionally without constant pressure.
Creating a Supportive Family Environment
Danish parenting showcases a collaborative family environment where children are expected to contribute to household responsibilities and decisions. This egalitarian approach fosters teamwork within the family, giving children a sense of belonging and accountability. Parents model self-care by openly expressing their needs, reinforcing the idea that taking care of oneself is essential for overall well-being. This leads to reduced parental stress and creates a more harmonious family dynamic, where children feel valued and empowered.
Nordic countries are known to be happy - so should we all raise our children like the Scandinavians do? British parent Helen Russell moved to Denmark and was shocked that Danish children play outside in all weathers; are given sharp tools and they're shown how to light matches.
This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents.
