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#738: Dr. Gabor Maté and Dr. BJ Miller

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May 17, 2024

Join renowned addiction expert Dr. Gabor Maté, best-selling author of 'In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts,' and palliative care specialist Dr. BJ Miller, known for his impactful TED Talk, as they delve into profound discussions on trauma and the importance of self-compassion. They explore the therapeutic potential of psychedelics and the emotional complexities surrounding death. With insights on transformative healing practices and compassionate care, they encourage listeners to embrace life's transient moments and reconnect with their true selves.

02:11:37

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ANECDOTE

BJ Miller's Introduction

When asked what he does, BJ Miller usually says he's a physician.
If people are interested, he specifies that he's a palliative care doctor at Zen Hospice Project.

insights

INSIGHT

Death in Zen Hospice vs. Hospital

Zen Hospice prioritizes a peaceful death, understanding individual needs and creating a loving environment.
Hospital deaths often feel rushed and impersonal, lacking space for grief and reflection.

insights

INSIGHT

Learning from Death

Witnessing many deaths has taught BJ Miller the importance of kindness, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
It encourages awareness of life's preciousness and minimizes regret.

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Facing Mortality: Insights from Palliative Care

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Palliative vs. Hospice Care: A Compassionate Approach

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#2721

• Mentioned in 22 episodes

When the Body Says No

Tracy A. Todd

#452

• Mentioned in 88 episodes

The Myth of Normal

Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

Gabor Maté

Daniel Maté

In this book, Gabor Maté and his son Daniel Maté challenge the prevailing understanding of 'normal' health, arguing that Western medicine often neglects the impact of trauma, stress, and modern-day living on our bodies and minds. They connect the dots between individual health issues and the broader societal problems, offering a compassionate guide for health and healing. The book is based on over four decades of clinical experience and is supported by extensive scientific research, patient stories, and personal disclosures.

#847

• Mentioned in 55 episodes

Radical acceptance

Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

Tara Brach

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach offers a transformative practice to help readers overcome habitual feelings of deficiency and better relate to their experiences and emotions. The book emphasizes two key pillars: observing one's experience clearly and responding with compassion. Through personal stories, case histories from her clinical psychology practice, and guided meditations, Brach provides practical guidance on mindfulness, compassion, and acceptance. The book helps readers stop being at war with themselves and live fully in every moment, addressing issues such as self-judgments, conflicts, addictions, and perfectionism. It also clarifies that Radical Acceptance does not mean self-indulgence or passivity but rather empowers genuine change and healing.

#18

• Mentioned in 509 episodes

The 4 Hour Workweek

Tim Ferriss

In 'The 4-Hour Workweek', Timothy Ferriss presents a step-by-step guide to 'lifestyle design', encouraging readers to question the traditional notion of retirement and instead create a lifestyle that prioritizes freedom, adventure, and personal growth. The book teaches how to outsource life tasks, automate income, and eliminate unnecessary work using principles like the 80/20 rule and Parkinson’s Law. Ferriss shares his personal journey from a corporate workaholic to a location-independent entrepreneur and provides practical tips and case studies to help readers achieve similar results. The book emphasizes the importance of focusing on high-value activities, taking 'mini-retirements', and living life to the fullest in the present rather than deferring enjoyment until retirement.

#1130

• Mentioned in 44 episodes

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts

Close Encounters with Addiction

Gabor Maté

In this book, Dr. Gabor Maté presents a comprehensive and compassionate look at addiction. He argues that addiction is not a moral failure or a genetic disease but rather a result of human development gone awry, often due to childhood trauma. The book includes first-person accounts, case studies, and scientific research to illustrate how addictive behaviors are attempts to self-soothe deep-seated fears and discomforts.

This episode is a two-for-one, and that’s because the podcast recently hit its 10-year anniversary and passed one billion downloads. To celebrate, I’ve curated some of the best of the best—some of my favorites—from more than 700 episodes over the last decade. I could not be more excited. The episode features segments from episode #298 "Dr. Gabor Maté — New Paradigms, Ayahuasca, and Redefining Addiction" and episode #153 "The Man Who Studied 1,000 Deaths to Learn How to Live."

Please enjoy!

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Timestamps:

[00:00] Start

[05:37] Notes about this supercombo format.

[06:57] Enter Gabor Maté.

[07:22] Compassionate inquiry and trauma vs. traumatic.

[11:06] Self-reconnection resources.

[14:40] How Gabor benefits from yoga.

[16:27] Gabor’s thoughts on the therapeutic value of psychedelics.

[18:14] What’s been revealed by Gabor’s experiences with ayahuasca?

[25:32] Essential intention.

[26:30] We don’t respond to what happens, but to our perception of what happens.

[32:48] Enter BJ Miller.

[33:07] What does BJ do?

[35:32] What does the first meeting look like for a new patient at the Zen Hospice Project?

[37:18] Defining palliative care.

[40:54] What happens when a patient dies in Zen Hospice compared to a regular hospital?

[45:03] How many deaths has BJ experienced?

[45:42] What has observing hundreds of deaths taught BJ about living?

[50:39] On keeping a mindfulness or meditation practice.

[55:05] About the Dinky (a terrifying story of electrocution).

[1:04:29] The miracle of a snowball in the burn ward.

[1:07:48] BJ’s experience as an undergraduate student at Princeton.

[1:08:46] On the idea of art.

[1:14:46] How BJ would support someone who suffered injuries similar to his own.

[1:16:57] What helps people most in hospice care?

[1:21:22] Why cookies matter.

[1:23:12] Thoughts on the use of psychoactive compounds in end-of-life care and treating existential suffering.

[1:33:46] BJ’s secret habit that might surprise most people.

[1:38:32] Suggested material for an introverted hospice patient.

[1:45:04] What comes to mind when BJ hears the word “successful?”

[1:48:13] Daily practices for seeing good in people.

[1:51:00] How to ride a motorcycle when missing three limbs.

[1:55:01] What purchase of $100 or less has most positively affected BJ’s life?

[1:56:53] BJ’s billboard.

[1:58:24] BJ’s advice to his 30-year-old-self.

[1:59:58] What has BJ changed his mind about in the last few years?

[2:01:26] BJ’s requests/asks/suggestions of the audience.

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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.

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