Making Polyamory Work Maintenance S*x with Emily Nagoski
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Jul 2, 2024 
Emily Nagoski, an expert in sexual wellness and author, discusses the often misunderstood concept of 'maintenance sex' and its potential harm to relationships. She emphasizes prioritizing shared pleasure over obligation, breaking down societal expectations that may hinder true intimacy. The conversation touches on navigating sexual identities, fostering collaboration over conflict, and the importance of authenticity in relationships. Plus, they explore key readings that can deepen understanding of sexuality, particularly for younger audiences.
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Maintenance Sex Misunderstood
- "Maintenance sex" often destroys relationships because it's sex to avoid something bad, not to experience pleasure.
- Sex is an incentive motivation system, driven by curiosity and pleasure, not a drive like hunger or loneliness.
Culture Blocks Sexual Pleasure
- Patriarchy and cultural narratives block sexual pleasure, teaching false stories about bodies and emotions.
- Loving your authentic self rather than conforming to societal fictions restores joy and connection.
Community Helps Depatriarchy
- A couple's story showed that women's other partners taught the man about emotional labor and femininity.
- It takes a community effort to support men in unlearning patriarchal behaviors.