Polycurious 68. Having Three DADT Partners with Alex & Skyler
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Dec 16, 2025 Discover the complexities of juggling three Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell relationships as Alex and Skyler share their journeys. Skyler discusses transitioning from a long-term marriage to non-monogamy, while Alex reveals how she found love amidst her divorce. They explore the balance of hierarchy and independence in relationships, the emotional challenges each partner faces, and the importance of transparency about future goals. Their candid advice offers insights for anyone navigating the intricate world of polyamory.
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DADT Plus Non-Hierarchy Creates Hidden Tension
- Combining don't-ask-don't-tell with non-hierarchy can create unique tensions around clarity and future planning.
- Lack of shared visibility makes it hard for partners to know where they stand and risks prolonged waiting.
Good Intentions Don't Remove Complexity
- Even with honest intentions, well-meaning non-monogamy can still lead to complicated, painful outcomes.
- Transparency doesn't erase complexity when partners have different life timelines and needs.
Magnetic First Dates Amid Complex Life
- Skyler met Alex while still in a marriage and two relationships, and he described the first dates as life-changing and intense.
- He felt conflicted because he loved the connection but had no emotional space to commit more then.
