Author and mental health counselor Jay Stringer discusses his research on sexual brokenness, the importance of listening to your lust, and his involvement in the Heart of Man movie. They explore the link between lack of purpose and pornography use, the impact of shame on communication, and understanding the drivers of unwanted sexual behavior, including anger and past trauma.
Sexual brokenness is a reflection of unresolved personal issues and childhood sexual abuse plays a significant role in shaping one's sexual behavior.
Lust and anger intersect as major drivers of sexual brokenness, emphasizing the need to address the root causes rather than just the behavior itself.
Deep dives
Understanding the Roots of Sexual Brokenness
Through extensive research, Jay Stringer found that sexual brokenness is not random but a direct reflection of unresolved issues in our personal stories. Lack of purpose in men's lives increases involvement with pornography, while the impact of childhood sexual abuse plays out over a lifetime. Stringer emphasizes the need to address the root causes of sexual behavior rather than just focusing on the behavior itself. Understanding and exploring our past experiences and current struggles in a supportive group setting can lead to healing and transformation.
Unveiling the Connection Between Lust and Anger
Stringer highlights the intersection of lust and anger as major drivers of sexual brokenness. He explains that when men lack a clear sense of purpose or struggle with anger, they are more likely to increase their involvement with pornography. By acknowledging and addressing these underlying emotions, individuals can gain insight into their sexual behavior and work towards healing. Stringer encourages the church to move beyond simplistic notions of lust and to recognize the role of anger and power in sexual brokenness.
Repeating Trauma in Sexual Behavior
Drawing from research on sexual abuse, Stringer reveals how individuals may unknowingly repeat their formative abuse stories through their sexual behavior. The toxic cocktail of bonding, arousal, stress, and shame experienced during abuse becomes ingrained in their sexual template. As a result, people may seek to recreate those same patterns, attempting to reverse or make sense of the trauma they experienced in childhood. Stringer emphasizes the importance of exploring and unraveling these deeper connections to guide individuals on their journey towards healing.
We talk to Jay Stringer, author, and mental health counselor, about his research and book, Unwanted. We talk to Jay about what he found in his research of almost 4,000 people, how to listen to your lust, and his involvement in the Heart of Man movie.