Pure Desire Podcast

In the raw aftermath of betrayal, survival mode often takes over—leaving clarity and stability out of reach. In this episode, Eileen Fagan shares the three critical tools every betrayed spouse needs to integrate quickly in the early days post-discovery. We explore why these tools matter, what “integration” looks like when trauma is fresh, and how they can offer safety and emotional grounding even when everything feels shattered. Eileen addresses common misunderstandings about a betrayed partner’s immediate needs and gently walks us through how these tools can shift someone from panic or paralysis to empowerment and self-regulation. We also discuss common barriers to using the tools, how to layer them with care, and the difference they make long-term.Resources:All Our ToolsJoin A Group! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The day of discovery—when a partner finds out their spouse has been viewing porn—can feel like emotional devastation. In this powerful episode, we dive into the six most important steps betrayed partners should take in the aftermath, including reaching out for support, setting healthy boundaries, and allowing space for emotional chaos. Our guest, Heather Kolb, sheds light on why the pain of discovery runs so deep, how to create a Safety Action Plan, and how betrayed partners can seek truth and healing without falling into shame or isolation. We also explore why rushing to reconciliation may do more harm than good and what to do when the struggling spouse refuses to seek help. Whether you're in the early stages of betrayal trauma or walking alongside someone who is, this conversation offers grounding guidance, honest insight, and hope for healing. You are not alone, and your healing matters—starting today.Resources:All Our ToolsJoin A Group! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The first 60 days after discovery or disclosure are some of the most overwhelming—and critical—moments in the recovery journey. In this episode, we unpack why this window matters so much and how to navigate it with clarity and purpose. Our guest and clinician for Pure Desire, Josh Andrew, shares the top three tools every individual should begin using right away: the Recovery Action Plan, the Escape Plan, and the Three Circles. You'll learn how these tools help calm the chaos, provide direction, and interrupt destructive patterns before they take over. We walk through practical first steps for each, offering guidance that’s simple, actionable, and effective—even in crisis. Whether you’re just starting recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers hope and structure for the days ahead.Resources:All Our ToolsJoin A Group! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Getting caught looking at porn can be an emotionally overwhelming experience, filled with shame, confusion, and fear. In this episode, we sit down with Jason Karsten to explore the six most crucial steps someone should take immediately after discovery—from seeking support and establishing boundaries to giving themselves grace and beginning the healing process. Jason shares practical advice on taking responsibility without being consumed by shame, the importance of honesty and transparency, and how to shift the focus from just managing behavior to pursuing true inner transformation. We also discuss the power of creating healthy boundaries that foster growth rather than punishment, and why rushing your partner toward forgiveness may backfire. Whether you’re just beginning your recovery or helping someone else walk through it, this episode offers clear, compassionate guidance for navigating the difficult—but hopeful—path ahead. Healing is possible, and this conversation is a powerful first step toward lasting change.Resources: All Of Our ToolsFree Counseling Consultation Join A Group! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, Debby Flanagan shares valuable insight into what comes after the first year of recovery—a season often marked by both growth and new challenges. As the initial intensity of group begins to settle, many wonder: What’s next? Debby offers guidance on how to discern the right next step—whether it’s repeating a group, starting a new workbook, or stepping into leadership. She unpacks what it means to have a long-term vision for recovery while remaining grounded in the present moment. You’ll hear about the shifting dynamics of recovery in Year 2 and beyond, the potential for plateau, and how to reignite momentum when things feel stale. Debby also emphasizes the ongoing importance of community, intentional relationships, and practical ways to keep your recovery work fresh and meaningful. Whether you're stepping into your second year or helping someone else navigate theirs, this episode is packed with wisdom to help you stay committed, energized, and hopeful for the road ahead.Resources:Full Episode on YouTubeJoin A Group! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this insightful episode, Tyler Chinchen unpacks the importance of knowing when group alone isn’t enough—and how seeking additional support can actually deepen the healing process. While recovery groups offer connection, structure, and hope, some seasons call for more personalized help.Tyler shares the key signs that someone might benefit from working with a counselor, coach, spiritual director, or mentor—and breaks down the unique role each plays in the journey toward freedom. We also explore how to avoid becoming overly dependent on advice and instead take ownership of our healing. If you’ve ever felt ashamed or unsure about needing “extra help,” this conversation brings clarity, encouragement, and a fresh perspective.Tyler also offers guidance for group leaders and members on how to support others in taking that next step, with compassion and healthy boundaries. Resources:Join A GroupFree 15 Minute Consultation  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dive into the emotional rollercoaster of group recovery, where healing isn't just a straight line. Ashley Jameson shares insightful stories that highlight the importance of perseverance through ups and downs. Feel the power of community support as participants navigate the complexities of emotional intimacy and the challenges of comparison. Discover practical tips to stay engaged during tough moments, reinforcing that honesty and consistency are key. Remember, you're not alone on this journey—growth is possible, even in the face of adversity.

In this episode of our series, The Ideal Group Member, Rich Moore joins us to talk about what it really means to “start group well”—and why those first few weeks can make all the difference in the healing journey. He unpacks the key mindsets and attitudes that help set the tone for lasting growth, along with common mistakes to avoid when beginning a Pure Desire group. From the importance of consistency to the challenge of building trust with strangers, Rich offers practical wisdom for both new members and seasoned leaders. Whether you’re feeling excited, nervous, or skeptical about group, this conversation will give you clarity, confidence, and hope for what’s ahead. You’ll also hear how leaders and existing members can create a safe, supportive environment where true healing can begin.Resources:Join A Group! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Harry Flanagan, a clinician and certified pastoral sex addiction professional with decades of experience, joins co-host John Begaman to discuss the importance of a spiritual growth plan in recovery. They delve into how emotional connections and community support can facilitate healing. Topics include the stages of spiritual growth, confronting emotional barriers, and understanding attachment styles. The conversation emphasizes the significance of relationships over routines, sharing practical tools to move forward along one’s spiritual journey.

In this episode of the Foundations of Freedom series, Heather Kolb joins us as we dive deep into the battlefield of the mind—where true healing begins. From a neuroscience perspective, we explore how the brain processes sexual brokenness and trauma, and why understanding this is key to lasting transformation. Many people believe they’re just “wired this way,” but what if you could actually retrain your brain? Heather unpacks the difference between wiring and training, how shame keeps us stuck, and why triggers and relapse are often rooted in brain function—not failure. With practical tools and powerful insights, she offers hope and direction for anyone feeling overwhelmed by their thought life. If you've ever wondered whether freedom is out of reach, this episode will remind you that your mind is not your enemy—it’s the starting place for breakthrough. GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.