Resetting Expectations With Resistant Direct Reports 7 | 8
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Feb 19, 2025
Dealing with resistant direct reports can feel like herding cats. Discover strategies to tackle defiance and manage communication breakdowns while maintaining team trust. The discussion delves into generational dynamics and the challenges of authority in the workplace. Learn the art of navigating interpersonal relationships through radical candor and the balance of assertiveness and compassion. The importance of public praise paired with private criticism is also highlighted, emphasizing how recognition can foster better team dynamics.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Solicit Feedback First
Start by soliciting feedback from your direct report, even if it feels awkward.
Ask direct questions to understand their perspective, such as "It seems like you don't respect me; what have I done?"
insights INSIGHT
Disrespect or Deeper Issue?
Disrespectful behavior from a direct report can stem from legitimate concerns or unresolved authority issues.
Addressing the root cause, whether it's a specific grievance or a broader attitude problem, is crucial.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
When to Consider a PIP
If a direct report consistently disrespects you and the management team, consider a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP).
Document specific instances of disrespectful behavior and outline clear expectations for change.
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Radical Candor by Kim Scott offers a practical approach to management by emphasizing the importance of caring personally and challenging directly. The book argues that effective managers must find a balance between being empathetic and providing clear, honest feedback. Scott draws from her experiences at Google and Apple to provide actionable lessons on building strong relationships, giving feedback, and creating a collaborative work environment. The book introduces the concept of 'radical candor' as the sweet spot between obnoxious aggression and ruinous empathy, and provides tools and strategies for managers to implement this approach in their daily work[1][2][5].
Undermining, defiant and disengaged direct report—coach them or cut them loose?
Dealing with a direct report who questions everything, isolates their team, and actively undermines leadership? YIKES. That’s not just frustrating—it’s a full-blown leadership headache. When radical candor turns into outright defiance, how do you respond without losing your mind (or your team’s trust)? In this episode, Kim and Amy tackle the tricky reality of managing someone who refuses to engage, blames leadership for team turnover, and resists every attempt at coaching. From figuring out whether this is a communication breakdown or a serious performance issue, to deciding if a PIP is the right move, they walk through strategies to reset expectations, shut down toxicity, and lead with confidence. Because at the end of the day, if you’ve ever thought, I literally don’t know what to do with this person, keeping a toxic presence around does more damage than having a tough talk. Get all of the show notes at RadicalCandor.com/podcast.
(00:00:00) Introduction Kim and Amy introduce a manager’s challenge: a disengaged, undermining direct report. (00:04:46) Generational Gap or Performance Problem? Whether this is a workplace culture clash or a deeper issue. (00:06:28) Red Flags: Undermining & Resistance Signs of bad-faith questioning, team isolation, and leadership defiance. (00:14:18) The Tough Feedback Conversation Role-playing a direct, no-nonsense conversation to reset expectations. (00:23:49) Handling Pushback & Defiance When a direct report resists leadership—what’s your next move? (00:26:38) PIP or Part Ways? How to decide if coaching, a PIP, or letting them go is the right call. (00:34:03) Emotions in Leadership Handling a direct report who dismisses the emotional impact of their behavior. (00:38:06) Accountability Without Micromanaging Creating clear expectations and consequences without constant oversight. (00:42:53) Next Steps: Coach, Challenge, or Cut Ties? How to assess whether a direct report can grow—or if it’s time to move on. (00:53:22) Radical Candor Tips Balancing Caring Personally with Challenging Directly to lead effectively. (00:55:43) Conclusion
Radical Candor: Communication at Work 