Too much or not enough: ADHD sensory challenges and sex

If sex sometimes feels confusing, overstimulating, or just... a lot, you’re not alone. ADHD and sensory issues can show up during sex and in our physical relationships. 

This week, psychologist Dr. Lyne Piché joins us to discuss how ADHD and sensory challenges can shape our sex lives, and how to talk about it. From touch sensitivity to struggling to focus, we dive into why things might feel like “too much” one minute and “not enough” the next—and how to figure it all out.

Related resources

• Dr. Piché’s website, www.ADHDsex.com
• Dr. Piché’s ADHD and Sex workbook
• An earlier Sorry, I Missed This episode: ADHD, sensory systems, and communication

Timestamps

(2:07) What is a sensory issue? 

(05:16) How do we build awareness and language about our sensory issues in the bedroom? 

(09:45) How do we tell the difference between sensory overload and just not being in the mood for sex? 

(12:15) The importance of trust in your partner, and not “enduring” something just for someone else

(15:22) How kink can help with sensory issues in sex

(16:42) Letting go of the shame over not liking the things that you’re “supposed” to like

(19:07) How can we talk to our partners about our sensory needs if we’re scared of hurting their feelings or disappointing them?

(22:47) Building “yes” spaces and talking to our partners about our sexy sensory dos and don’ts—without feeling unsexy

(27:44) Trying things out more than once to determine whether it’s a sensory issue or a preference

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. 

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give