Brené with Susan Cain on How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, Part 2 of 2
Mar 30, 2022
40:46
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Explore the societal shift towards toxic positivity and fear of failure, the transformative power of writing down emotional experiences, the alchemy of storytelling and self-expression, embracing vulnerability in feeling joy amidst sorrow, the communal connection through music at a Leonard Cohen memorial concert, and the intertwined themes of joy and sorrow in music and gratitude.
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Quick takeaways
Toxic positivity from Calvinist roots fosters a fear of failure and vulnerability in society.
Effortless perfection culture, intensified by social media, leads to internal struggles and high stress levels among college students.
Deep dives
Influence of Calvinism on American Positive Culture
The podcast delves into how the roots of Calvinism in the United States led to a societal focus on positivity and success. Calvinist beliefs of predestination for heaven or hell evolved into a culture valuing outward success and the appearance of a winner. Expressing worry or negative emotions was frowned upon, reinforcing a toxic positivity where any signs of failure or vulnerability were stigmatized as being a 'loser.' This pressure to appear successful fueled a fear of being labeled a 'loser,' perpetuating a culture where pain and hardships had to be masked.
Effortless Perfection in College Culture
The podcast discusses the phenomenon of 'effortless perfection' among college students, where they feel pressured to appear socially adept, academically successful, and physically fit without showing any effort in achieving these standards. This expectation leads to students presenting a flawless facade while struggling internally, resulting in high levels of stress and emotional turmoil. The culture of effortless perfection intersects with social media, creating an environment where appearances matter more than genuine well-being, contributing to increased rates of anxiety and depression.
Healing Through Emotional Expression
The podcast highlights the power of emotional expression in healing, emphasizing the benefits of writing down feelings and vulnerabilities. Research by Jamie Pennebaker reveals that writing about emotional turmoil significantly improves mental health outcomes and life prospects. By engaging in expressive writing, individuals can transform their hardships, facilitating a process of self-discovery and healing. This practice allows individuals to process grief, negative emotions, and challenges, leading to better emotional well-being and overall life satisfaction.
Understanding Impermanence and Gratitude
The podcast delves into the themes of impermanence and gratitude, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging life's fragility and embracing joy while being aware of its transitory nature. By cultivating gratitude and recognizing the fragile beauty of life, individuals can fully experience moments of joy without succumbing to fear or foreboding. This practice of acknowledging impermanence allows for a deeper appreciation of life's fleeting moments, fostering a sense of presence and gratitude in everyday experiences.
Welcome to Part 2 of my conversation with Susan Cain, the bestselling author of Quiet, about her new book, Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole. This book is giving me life right now. I feel deeply seen in this needed counterbalance to our society’s push for constant positivity.