101 - The Neuroscience of Toxic Shame w/ Robyn Gobbel
Feb 22, 2023
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Exploring the neuroscience of toxic shame in childhood, its roots, and impact on attachment styles. Psychotherapist Robyn Gobbel discusses the identification of toxic shame in children and its connection to insecure attachment. The discussion delves into coping mechanisms, play therapy, and strategies for healing toxic shame in relationships.
Toxic shame stems from childhood beliefs of unworthiness and hiding authentic self, impacting behavior and attachment styles.
Healing from toxic shame involves compassionate understanding of trauma neurobiology and regulating responses for individuals.
Attachment styles, particularly disorganized attachment, are linked to experiences of toxic shame, informing understanding of its impact on individuals.
Deep dives
Recognizing Toxic Shame
Recognizing toxic shame involves identifying intense emotional dysregulation, behavior reactions that seem disproportionate, developmental delays in play skills, and statements from kids expressing self-loathing or thoughts of annihilation.
Healing from Toxic Shame
Healing from toxic shame is a complex journey that involves understanding the neurobiology of trauma and stress. It requires compassion, safety, presence, and regulated responses when working with individuals suffering from toxic shame.
Attachment Styles and Toxic Shame
Attachment styles, especially disorganized attachment, often correlate with experiences of toxic shame. Understanding the neurobiology of shame embedded in attachment experiences can shed light on their impact.
Parenting and Toxic Shame
For parents discovering they may have impacted their kids negatively, signs of toxic shame in children can include emotional dysregulation, delayed relationship skills matching younger age, and intense behaviors not proportional to situations.
Identifying Scapegoating in Families
Addressing scapegoating in families where a child is unfairly blamed or labeled as the identified patient requires compassion, setting boundaries, and promoting understanding of the family dynamics that contribute to such behaviors.
Toxic shame is the core belief that “I am bad. I am unworthy. I need to hide my authentic self from the world in order to be loved and accepted” and a hallmark symptom of the Adult Child Trauma Syndrome.
In today's episode, I am joined by psychotherapist Robyn Gobbel, LMSW-Clinical, to discuss the neuroscience of toxic shame, it's roots in childhood, how to identify it in children, and its connection to insecure & disorganized attachment styles. Robyn has over 15 years of practice in family and child therapy experience, specializing in complex trauma, attachment, and adoption. She is the host of the Parenting After Trauma Podcast and author of the upcoming book "Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work"
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