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The Hidden Secret To Smarter Decision-Making, Better, Relationships, And Lower Stress | Matthew Brensilver, Vinny Ferraro, Kaira Jewel Lingo

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Oct 23, 2024

01:03:10

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ANECDOTE

Mistaken Identity

DJ Cashmere mistook a fellow meditator for someone else during a retreat.
This seemingly minor incident sparked a deeper realization about how often we are wrong.

insights

INSIGHT

Delusion as a Root Poison

The Buddha included delusion as one of the three root poisons causing suffering.
DJ emphasizes that being wrong is more common than we think, aligning with this Buddhist teaching.

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ADVICE

Openness vs. Uncertainty

Kyra Jewel Lingo clarifies that openness is different from paralyzing uncertainty or doubt.
Openness facilitates decisiveness through clarity of mind, not hindering action.

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Lonesome Dove

Gene Walden

Lonesome Dove is a classic Western novel that follows the journey of two former Texas Rangers, Augustus McCrae and Woodrow F. Call, as they embark on a cattle drive from Texas to Montana. The novel is renowned for its vivid descriptions of the American West, its exploration of themes such as friendship, loyalty, and the decline of the Old West, and its well-developed characters. It is the third book in the Lonesome Dove series and is widely regarded as McMurtry's magnum opus.

The Bell Jar

Sylvia Plath

The Bell Jar is a thinly veiled autobiography that follows Esther Greenwood, a talented and ambitious college student, as she experiences a mental breakdown. The novel begins with Esther's unfulfilling summer internship as a guest editor for a women's magazine in New York City, where she grapples with identity and societal norms. Upon returning home, Esther's mental health deteriorates, leading to several suicide attempts and eventual hospitalization. The novel explores her treatment, including electroconvulsive therapy, and her gradual recovery under the care of a progressive psychiatrist. It also critiques the limited roles available to women in the 1950s and the brutal psychiatric treatments of the time.

Think Again

Adam Grant

In 'Think Again', Adam Grant argues that the ability to rethink at personal, interpersonal, and collective levels is crucial in today's polarized world. He uses scientific research, personal anecdotes, and engaging stories to illustrate how people can find joy in being wrong, leverage the benefits of impostor syndrome, and cultivate environments of lifelong learning. Grant emphasizes the need to challenge our convictions, adopt a scientific mindset, and foster curiosity and humility. He provides examples of individuals who have successfully rethought their approaches, from firefighters to business leaders, and offers practical exercises for improving rethinking skills.

Being Wrong

Adventures in the Margin of Error

Kathryn Schulz

In this book, Kathryn Schulz argues that the capacity to err is crucial to human cognition and is inextricably linked to humane and honorable qualities such as empathy, optimism, imagination, conviction, and courage. She contends that our aversion to wrongness is maladaptive and that by embracing our fallibility, we can revise our understanding of ourselves and the world. The book uses a wide range of examples, including historical incidents, personal stories, and philosophical arguments, to illustrate how wrongness is a vital part of human development and creativity.

We Were Made for These Times

Kaira Jewel Lingo

In this book, Kaira Jewel Lingo provides accessible advice on navigating life's challenges, including change, loss, and disruption. Drawing on Buddhist teachings, she offers ten concise chapters with essential teachings and meditations to help readers develop ease, presence, and self-compassion. The book is designed to support readers in releasing fear and doubt, and in cultivating wisdom, resilience, and balance in the face of global and personal disruptions.

The Experience Machine

How Our Minds Predict and Shape Reality

Andy Clark

In this book, Andy Clark explores the theory that the brain is a powerful, dynamic prediction engine that mediates our experience of both body and world. He illustrates how reality is a complex synthesis of sensory information and expectation, and how this predictive process shapes all human experience, from mundane to sublime. Clark discusses the implications for mental health, society, and our understanding of conditions such as chronic pain and mental illness, suggesting new approaches to treatment. The book also delves into how perception is a form of controlled hallucination and how our minds are entangled with our environments and internal states.

Healing Our Way Home

Black Buddhist Teachings on Ancestors, Joy, and Liberation

Kaira Jewel Lingo

Marisela Gomez

Valerie Brown

Healing Our Way Home is a collaborative work by three Black women teachers in the Plum Village tradition. The book delves into various aspects of life, including family, relationships, loneliness, intimacy, politics, and self-care, using embodied mindfulness practices. It aims to support healing from white supremacy, internalized racial oppression, and social and cultural conditioning, leading to a sense of belonging and abiding joy. The authors share their personal narratives and the timeless teachings of the Dharma to guide readers towards liberation and connection with their ancestors.

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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The Buddhist case — and toolkit — for “don’t-know mind.”

For this episode, Executive Producer DJ Cashmere interviewed a trio of brilliant Dharma teachers to get their advice about how to handle being wrong. This is the third in a series of 'correspondent' episodes, in which DJ identifies a pain point in his life and meditation practice, then goes out into the world to report on the best ways to address it.

Kaira Jewel Lingo is a former nun in the Plum Village tradition started by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. Vinny Ferraro teaches at the Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock, and also in prisons. Matthew Brensilver teaches at many of the same retreat centers, and spent many years working in the field of addiction pharmacotherapy.

*Matthew’s Dharma talk on Knowing And Not-Knowing

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Want to study and practice with today's guests? Please check out these Spirit Rock offerings:

Matthew Brensilver, Buddhist Psychology Training (Begins in January)

Vinny Ferraro: A Year to Live; Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully (Begins in January)

Kaira Jewel Lingo: Healing Our Way Home (Oct. 20); Insight Meditation Retreat (April 9-16; opens Dec. 11)

All 10% Happier listeners receive a discount code for our December Insight Retreat (Dec. 8-18) with the code TENPERCENT

& if you'd like to study with these guests on the East Coast, check out these retreats at the Insight Meditation Society:

Kaira Jewel Lingo, Strength to Love: Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King: Jr. (Jan 17 - Jan 20), and Return to Wholeness: Opening to Wisdom & Love (Mar 23 - Mar 29)

Vinny Ferraro, Peace in Presence: A Four-Night Retreat for All (Jan 31 - Feb 4)

Related Episodes:

Listen to all of DJ’s correspondence episodes here
3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo
How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo
Three Buddhist Practices For Getting Your Sh*t Together | Vinny Ferraro
Why Self-Hatred Makes No Sense | Matthew Brensilver
How to Actually Be Present | Matthew Brensilver

Also, the teachers’ sites:

https://vinnyferraro.org/

Vinny Ferraro's Course, A Year To Live

https://www.kairajewel.com/

https://www.matthewbrensilver.org/

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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/dj-being-wrong-3

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