After Acceptance: The Sixth Stage of Grief With Author David Kessler
Oct 15, 2024
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In this thought-provoking discussion, David Kessler, a renowned grief and loss expert, unpacks the sixth stage of grief—finding meaning. He emphasizes the importance of "excavating" pain as a vital part of healing and shares insights on supporting grieving colleagues by simply being present. The conversation also highlights that grief extends beyond death, touching on life changes like estrangement and job loss. Through personal anecdotes, Kessler inspires listeners to embrace their emotions, seek community support, and reclaim joy amid sorrow.
Recognizing that grief can arise from any significant life change emphasizes the importance of acknowledging all forms of loss for emotional healing.
Engaging in meaningful actions post-loss fosters personal growth, transforming grief into strength rather than seeking traditional closure.
Deep dives
Understanding Grief Beyond Death
Grief encompasses a range of experiences that are not solely related to death; it can arise from any unwanted change in life. This perspective highlights that breakups, job loss, or even moving from a cherished home also qualify as grief. These experiences can create a profound sense of loss, similar to that felt with bereavement. Recognizing that all forms of loss are valid and deserve acknowledgment is essential for emotional healing.
The Flexibility of Grieving
Grieving is not a linear process; individuals may not experience the traditional five stages of grief in a set order or even at all. This concept addresses the misinterpretation of Kubler-Ross's model, emphasizing that everyone's journey through grief is unique. Acceptance should not be seen as a final destination but rather as a part of a complex emotional landscape. Understanding this allows individuals to navigate their feelings without the pressure of following a prescribed path.
Finding Meaning in Loss
After exploring various experiences of loss, a new stage of grief termed 'meaning' has been recognized. This stage focuses on what one does after a loss and how such events can lead to personal growth and deeper connections with others. Engaging in meaningful actions, no matter how small, can help transform grief into a source of strength. Rather than seeking closure, individuals can aim to integrate their losses into their ongoing life narrative.
Creating a Grief-Friendly Environment
Organizations can play a vital role in supporting employees who are grieving by developing better bereavement policies and fostering a culture of understanding. It is essential for workplaces to recognize that grief impacts productivity and emotional well-being, necessitating a compassionate approach. Encouraging open conversations around grief and ensuring those affected feel valued during their recovery can create a supportive atmosphere. By embracing the intricacies of grief and its effects on individuals, workplaces can foster stronger, more resilient teams.
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David Kessler is a grief and loss expert and the author of several bestselling books, including two he co-authored with Elizabeth Kubler Ross. He’s worked with thousands of people on the edge of life and death, helping them to find happiness and fulfillment after experiencing life’s gravest tragedies.
On this week’s episode of Everyday Better, David joins Leah to discuss the role of meaning and how we make it after experiencing a loss and the grief that accompanies it. He describes the process of ‘excavating’ one’s pain – a crucial step in the grieving process that must precede meaning-making. He also offers advice for talking to your coworkers about grief, stressing the importance of simply being present for those who are in the midst of grieving as opposed to offering solutions.