186. Attachment to Self: The Cornerstone of Healing with Mili Shoemaker
Feb 11, 2025
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Mili Shoemaker, a Synergetic Play Therapy supervisor trainer, joins to illuminate the crucial concept of attachment to self. They discuss how this form of attachment diverges from traditional theories and emphasize the importance of mindful awareness in healing. The conversation explores the fluidity of attachment styles and their connection to personal perception and self-regulation. Mili shares personal stories and practical strategies for therapists to cultivate self-attachment, underscoring its transformative power in building secure relationships.
Attachment to self is essential for healing, as it fosters a deeper understanding of one's perceptions and emotional responses.
Mindful awareness moments are crucial in therapy for integrating experiences, promoting resilience, and enhancing personal growth and self-regulation.
Deep dives
Introduction to Synergetic Play Therapy
Synergetic Play Therapy (SPT) offers an innovative approach to working with children, emphasizing the significance of understanding small but impactful details in the therapeutic process. This method integrates insights from various disciplines to enhance a therapist's ability to connect with children effectively. By recognizing the therapeutic journey as a collaborative effort, therapists can work to engage children in meaningful ways that foster trust and safety. Online courses are available for those interested in deepening their understanding of SPT, encouraging practitioners to enhance their skills and approach.
Understanding Attachment to Self
The concept of attachment to self encourages individuals to explore how they perceive themselves in relation to others. Traditionally, attachment theory has focused on relationships between caregivers and children, but this new perspective shifts the emphasis toward the internal experience of the individual. By recognizing that our perception of others is influenced by our own historical experiences, therapists can better understand their emotional responses and attachment styles. Engaging with this idea can lead to significant personal growth and improve therapeutic relationships.
The Role of Perception in Attachment
Perception is a foundational element in understanding how attachment styles are formed and maintained. Individuals experience the world through their own internal lens, shaped by past interactions and feelings of safety or danger. This means that our understanding of relationships is not solely about the other person but also about our internal landscape during those interactions. Therapists can leverage this understanding to help clients navigate their attachments more effectively, leading to healthier relational patterns.
The Journey of Integration and Healing
Integration of experiences, especially traumatic ones, is crucial for developing a secure attachment to oneself. When individuals learn to maintain an awareness of their emotions during challenging times, they can create opportunities for healing and resilience. This process involves becoming aware of one's feelings and experiences without getting overwhelmed by them, fostering a sense of safety and stability. As people journey through their internal worlds, they can gradually reclaim parts of themselves that may have been lost or overshadowed by trauma.
“So much of our healing lies in our ability to come home to ourselves.” – Lisa Dion
In this episode, Lisa is joined by Mili Shoemaker, a Synergetic Play Therapy supervisor trainer, long-time consultant, and dear friend. Together, they dive into one of the most foundational concepts in Synergetic Play Therapy: attachment to self.
Join Lisa and Mili as they explore:
How attachment to self differs from traditional attachment theories.
Why moments of mindful awareness are key to healing and integration.
The connection between attachment styles, perception, and self-regulation.
Practical ways therapists can foster attachment to self within themselves and their clients.
Personal stories and reflections on the profound impact of this concept in therapy and beyond.
Lisa also shares actionable insights, including a reflective exercise to observe and strengthen your connection to self throughout your week.
Whether you’re a therapist, a parent, or someone curious about deepening your self-awareness, this episode is packed with transformative insights.
Grab a notebook, and tune in to learn why attachment to self is not only the cornerstone of healing but also the foundation for developing secure relationships with others.
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