Ep. 272 Becoming An ‘Emotional Athlete’ with Flynn Skidmore
Oct 13, 2023
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Therapist Flynn Skidmore explores topics like becoming emotionally 'athletic', reframing relationships, and building foundations from desired energy. They also discuss ADHD as a superpower, recognizing unhealthy dynamics, cultivating inner peace, and understanding desires through curiosity.
Approaching relationships as co-creative dynamics fosters collaboration and mutual growth.
Internal experiences and feelings are abundant and accessible, shifting the focus from external validation.
Compassion and acceptance towards all parts of ourselves create harmony and coherence within our internal system.
Deep dives
The Power of Co-Creation and Internal Harmony
When navigating relationships, it is important to approach them with a high capacity for co-creation and a willingness to work together to create a desired internal experience. By bringing awareness to our own contributions to the dynamic and having open and honest conversations with others, we can foster relationships that are based on collaboration and mutual growth. This approach allows for the continuous iteration of the relationship, creating a space where both individuals can thrive and fulfill their desires.
Shifting Focus from External to Internal
Instead of seeking validation and fulfillment from external things, it is important to recognize that what we truly desire is the internal experience and the sensations associated with it. By identifying the feelings we want to experience and understanding that they are abundantly available in every moment, we can shift our focus to generating those feelings internally. With this shift, the external manifestations become easier, and we no longer rely on them for our sense of fulfillment.
Embracing and Exploring All Parts of Ourselves
Rather than trying to fix or change certain parts of ourselves, it is crucial to approach all parts with compassion, curiosity, and acceptance. Each part has its own unique perspective and contribution to our internal system. By creating a sense of belonging and mutual understanding among our parts, we can navigate our internal experiences more effectively and create harmony and coherence within ourselves.
Working with ADHD and Challenging Beliefs
When dealing with ADHD or any other perceived limitations, it is essential to focus on the specific aspect of our lives that we want to change. Instead of trying to change our beliefs, we can explore the desired change itself and the internal experience associated with it. By understanding the feelings and sensations that arise in certain situations, we can unravel the underlying patterns and develop strategies that support our desired outcomes. It is about finding what works for us individually and embracing our uniqueness.
Internal Experience and Desired Outcomes
The podcast episode explores the importance of understanding the internal experience and desired outcomes. It emphasizes the idea that what people truly want in life is not external achievements or possessions, but rather specific internal experiences like peace, joy, and groundedness. It suggests that by identifying and focusing on these desired internal experiences, individuals can design processes and strategies that align with those experiences, ultimately transforming their subconscious and becoming a different person. The episode also highlights the significance of relating to oneself lovingly and curiously, and prioritizing one's internal experience to cultivate self-love and attract fulfilling relationships.
Removing Judgment and Embracing Curiosity
The podcast episode encourages listeners to let go of judgment and embrace curiosity when it comes to understanding their own desires and beliefs. It highlights the tendency for people to judge certain wants or beliefs as 'bad' or 'unacceptable,' preventing them from fully exploring and understanding their true desires. The episode suggests that by applying curiosity and compassion, individuals can uncover the root of their desires and beliefs, which is often connected to the universal need for love, safety, and belonging. It emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and nurturing a deep understanding of oneself, allowing for the exploration and transformation of beliefs and desires. The episode also mentions the significance of prioritizing one's own internal experience and cultivating self-love as the foundation for attracting meaningful relationships and manifesting desired outcomes.
If you haven’t had the pleasure of seeing one of Flynn Skidmore’s viral videos on social media or listening to his incredible podcast, let us introduce you: Flynn is a therapist trained in Internal Family Systems and somatic experiencing. And let’s just say it like this, Flynn + TBM = total power couple. Today he and Jessica dive into so many compelling rabbit holes, like exploring your internal landscape in order to regulate your nervous system, becoming more emotionally “athletic,” and starting to get in tune with your body about what clues it may be giving you regarding your relationship dynamics. Also! if you’ve been manifesting a ticket to the LA stop of the TBM speaking tour, you might wanna listen in…
