In this book, Dr. Margaret Rutherford explores the concept of 'perfectly hidden depression' (PHD), a syndrome that does not fit the official diagnostic criteria for depression but is nonetheless serious and debilitating. PHD is marked by a facade of perfection, high responsibility, and control, which hides deep feelings of pain, loneliness, and despair. The book details the 10 characteristics of PHD, provides real-life stories, and offers a five-stage healing process. It includes journal prompts and questions to help readers reflect on their own habits and emotions. Dr. Rutherford emphasizes that PHD often results from upbringing, ingrained beliefs, and personality traits, and that it is crucial to recognize and address these factors to begin the healing process.
Conflict can work for you and help you create more intimacy in your relationship.
I’ve worked with so many couples on how to work through conflict. And there are definite things to do and things not to do. As I said in the last episode (which you might want to listen to if you haven’t..) a relationship that avoids conflict, where one or both people don’t talk about the elephant in the room, is also avoiding (or not creating) intimacy. If they sense conflict, one or both will change the subject. Or there’ll never seem to be time for “that thing we’ve been saying we need to talk about.”
Today we’re going to address seven excuses or justifications (or what may be wrongly called “reasons”) how conflict sticks around – and doesn’t get worked through. And we’ll also focus on how to realistically approach conflict in ways that promote greater understanding and intimacy.
Vital Links:
Difficulty with apathy in a relationship
Harvard Article on conflict resolution
The Visibility Gap Podcast
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You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to camouflage underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by anyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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