Emotions are the foundation of human relationships, shaping attachments and fostering bonds.
Compassion and altruism boost happiness by promoting pro-social behaviors and social connection.
The concept of power has evolved from ruthless tactics to inclusive leadership, emphasizing empathy and motivation.
Deep dives
Evolution of Emotion as the Language of Social Living
Emotions, as highlighted by prominent figures like Charles Darwin and William James, serve as the groundwork for building human relationships. Relationships such as parental attachments, love for partners, and feelings of reverence shape the core of human emotions. The physical connection between a mother and child, from pregnancy to breastfeeding, plays a vital role in fostering emotional bonds.
The Impact of Compassion on Happiness
Compassion and altruistic acts play a significant role in amplifying happiness levels. Giving to others, sharing resources, and engaging in empathetic actions lead to increased happiness and a sense of social connection. Cultivating a sense of 'gen' or 'ren,' which involves bringing out the good in others, enhances happiness through pro-social behaviors like volunteering and compassionate interactions.
Evolution of Power Dynamics
The traditional view of power, influenced by Machiavelli's 'The Prince,' emphasizes ruthless tactics and strategic force. However, historical shifts from collaborative, egalitarian hunter-gatherer societies to vertical hierarchies challenge this outdated view. The emergence of hierarchical power structures has led to systemic violence, unequal power distribution, and detrimental societal practices, questioning the validity and applicability of Machiavelli's perspective in modern contexts.
Power as a Paradox in Leadership
Power in leadership involves the ability to influence and motivate others effectively by understanding their needs and inspiring them. However, the 'power paradox' highlights that once individuals attain power, they often lose empathy and social skills, leading to problematic behaviors like interrupting others and making risky decisions. Studies show that power corrupts by causing individuals to prioritize self-interest over empathy, impacting their relationships and decision-making abilities.
Fostering Empathy in Children
Empathy plays a crucial role in understanding and connecting with others' emotions and experiences. Parents can cultivate empathy in children by encouraging reasoning through emotional situations, using emotion words to describe feelings, and exposing children to suffering and its alleviation. By creating an environment that acknowledges and addresses suffering, children can develop a deeper sense of empathy towards others, contributing to their social and emotional growth.
When Pixar was dreaming up the idea for Inside Out, a film that would explore the roiling emotions inside the head of a young girl, they needed guidance from an expert. So they called Dacher Keltner.
Dacher is a psychologist at UC Berkeley who has dedicated his career to understanding how human emotion shapes the way we interact with the world, how we properly manage difficult or stressful situations, and ultimately, how we treat one another.
In fact, he refers to emotions as the “language of social living.” The more fluent we are in this language, the happier and more meaningful our lives can be.
We tackle a wide variety of topics in this conversation that I think you’ll really enjoy.
You’ll learn:
The three main drivers that determine your personal happiness and life satisfaction
Simple things you can do everyday to jumpstart the “feel good” reward center of your brain
The principle of “jen” and how we can use “high-jen behaviors” to bootstrap our own happiness
How to have more positive influence in our homes, at work and in our communities.
How to teach your kids to be more kind and empathetic in an increasingly self-centered world
What you can do to stay grounded and humble if you are in a position of power or authority
How to catch our own biases when we’re overly critical of another’s ideas (or overconfident in our own)
And much more. We could have spent an hour discussing any one of these points alone, but there was so much I wanted to cover. I’m certain you’ll find this episode well worth your time.
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