Elevator Systems - Bowen Family Systems Theory

S3 Ep 8 Parenting with Lauren Errington

Aug 26, 2025
Guest
Lauren Errington
Lauren Errington, Executive Director of the Family Systems Institute in Sydney, sheds light on parenting through Bowen family systems theory. She discusses the need for parents to manage their reactivity while offering children developmental space. The conversation dives into the importance of identifying personal beliefs amid external pressures, along with viewing family as a system to tackle challenges. Humor and flexibility in parenting are emphasized, paired with insights from the film 'Parenthood' that illustrate the intricate dynamics of generational knowledge and emotional coaching.
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INSIGHT

Parents As The Primary Project

  • When parents clarify their values and manage their reactivity, children get the developmental space to grow.
  • Lauren Errington frames parenting as parents working on themselves more and kids a bit less.
INSIGHT

Balance Between Individuality And Togetherness

  • Differentiation of self frames parenting as a balance between individuality and togetherness.
  • Katie White highlights that this balance shifts across development and differs by child.
ADVICE

Name And Hold Your Parenting Values

  • Assess and name your parenting beliefs and values so you can hold them when disagreements appear.
  • Use those values to guide actions rather than reacting to every external opinion.
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