37. Three Problems with Attaching the “need” for Self-improvement to Your Porn Habit
Aug 11, 2023
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This podcast explores the problems of attaching self-improvement to a porn habit. It discusses the impact of this attachment on goals and reflects on the hunger for growth. The episode suggests detaching self-improvement from a porn habit and focusing on personal growth and learning instead.
14:22
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Quick takeaways
Attaching the need for self-improvement tools to a porn habit can create a cycle of behavior and hinder progress.
Practicing mind management regardless of recent porn use diminishes the incentive to view porn and avoids reinforcing the identity of having a porn problem.
Deep dives
Attaching Mind-Management Tools to Porn Habit
One of the problems with attaching the need for self-improvement tools to a porn habit is that it can create a cycle where you only practice mind management when you have recently looked at porn. This pattern can lead to repetitions of the behavior. Additionally, attaching self-improvement tools to a specific problem like a porn habit can inadvertently incentivize looking at porn due to a hunger for continual growth and learning. When brain identifies the mind management tools as effective in accelerating learning, it may seek to use them by unconsciously creating situations that involve porn. Furthermore, attaching the need for using these tools to the porn habit can reinforce the identity of being someone with a porn problem. This identity perpetuates the behavior and hinders progress.
The Solution: Rewrite the Rules
To overcome these issues, the podcast suggests rewriting the rules. Rather than using mind management tools solely because of the porn habit, it is important to use them with a new identity of valuing growth, self-improvement, and learning. By practicing mind management regardless of recent porn use, individuals demonstrate to their brain that they can learn and expand continuously. This approach diminishes the incentive to view porn and avoids reinforcing the identity as someone with a porn problem. The goal is to develop a mindset of a champion, continuously practicing, overcoming obstacles, and embracing the journey of personal growth beyond breaking the porn habit.
Embrace Being the Champion of Your Own Life
The podcast encourages listeners to adopt a champion mentality in their lives. It emphasizes the importance of having a system in place that promotes long-term growth and success, not just overcoming the porn habit. This mindset encompasses creating the life one desires and continuously learning and improving even after conquering the habit. By expanding and enriching one's own life, individuals can contribute positively to the world and bring out their best selves. The podcast concludes by inviting listeners to join the Chain Breaker program, a group coaching initiative that helps implement the learned tools and information in a transformative and effective manner.
I teach guys powerful, useable, practical, hands-on tools for managing their mind.
Some of those tools include:
-Thought Work
-the Self-Coaching Model
-Impulse Shifting
Why is managing your mind important?
Because thoughts create results.
A lot of my clients first learn about these powerful mind-management tools because they have a porn habit that they want to quit, once and for all - FOR GOOD.
So they practice with the mind-management tools and see that it helps (very effectively) with their initial problem.
Sometimes, they begin to attach the “need” for using these tools to whether or not they looked at porn recently.
This can be problematic. Why?
For a few reasons that we are discussing in this episode. Tune in now.
Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.
Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.
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