#346: How to Validate ANYONE, The Secret to Healthy Relationships - Dr. Caroline Fleck

Oct 20, 2025

Dr. Caroline Fleck, a clinical psychologist and the author of "Validation," shares transformative communication skills crucial for deepening relationships. She discusses the power of validation versus problem-solving, especially with kids, and the importance of emotional regulation techniques. Caroline introduces the 'validation ladder' to enhance communication, emphasizes the role of authentic empathy, and highlights the significance of modeling behavior in relationships. Ultimately, she argues that true validation embodies love and acceptance.

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INSIGHT

Radical Acceptance Changes Everything

Validation is radical acceptance of another's experience without trying to change it first.
Leading with acceptance opens the door to personal transformation and connection.

ADVICE

Ask Before You Fix

Ask whether the person wants problem-solving or validation before responding.
If they want validation, mirror their feeling (e.g., "That is so disappointing") rather than fixing it.

INSIGHT

Empathy Isn’t The Same As Conveying It

Feeling empathy doesn't mean you automatically communicate it well to others.
Communicating validation is a distinct skill that must be practiced and learned.

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Dr. Caroline Fleck shares with Gabby Reece the #1 communication skill from psychology (DBT) you need to master: VALIDATION. Learn how this essential relationship tool will transform your marriage, parenting, and friendships. The psychologist & author of Validation breaks down the exact steps to build deep connection, manage conflict, and achieve emotional regulation.

In this powerful episode of The Gabby Reece Show, host Gabby Reece and Dr. Caroline Fleck, a clinical psychologist and author of the book Validation: How the skillset that revolutionized psychology will transform your relationship, increase your influence, and change your life, discuss the profound impact of true validation.

Validation is more than just listening or feeling empathy; it is a communication skill that must be mastered to truly convey understanding and acceptance. Dr. Fleck reveals why this essential skill is typically only taught in advanced doctoral psychology programs (Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT) and how you can apply it to your everyday life to build stronger bonds and reduce conflict.

Key Takeaways You'll Learn:

The crucial difference between "problem-solving" and "validation" in real-life scenarios, especially with children.
The six levels of validation (the "validation ladder") and how to use them to instantly improve your communication.
Practical strategies for managing intense emotions and conflict using DBT's TIP skills (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing).
The power of a genuine apology, even as a parent, to model the behavior you want your kids to learn.
How to disclose your own experience to connect without overshadowing the other person's pain (the "flip it back" technique).

Don't miss these evidence-based strategies for better communication and personal transformation!

Subscribe to The Gabby Reece Show for more conversations on health, relationships, and human performance.

Follow Caroline Fleck:

On Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/carolinefleckphd
Caroline’s Website - https://drcarolinefleck.com/
Order Caroline’s Book - https://www.amazon.com/Validation-Revolutionized-Psychology-Transform-Relationships/dp/0593541219

For more on Gabby

Instagram @GabbyReece: https://www.instagram.com/gabbyreece/
TikTok @GabbyReeceOfficial https://www.tiktok.com/@gabbyreeceofficial
The Gabby Reece Show Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GabbyReece
The Gabby Reece Show podcast is Produced by Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/)

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