Should Christians Give When Their Spouse Disagrees? (what to do when your spouse says 'no')

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Dec 13, 2025

Bob and Linda share their journey through a difficult season where differing views on giving threatened their marriage. They discuss the importance of unity and nurturing grace in financial decisions. Listeners learn about a budgeting tool allowing for personal spending while maintaining joint accounts. The couple emphasizes the need for prayerful discernment and waiting for God's timing, encouraging couples to seek a third option rather than a simple divide. Their heartfelt insights offer hope to those navigating similar challenges.

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ANECDOTE

Lowe's Parking Lot Adoption Crisis

Bob and Linda fought for months over whether to adopt and it nearly broke their marriage.
That season exposed hidden heart issues and ultimately led to God's better timing for their son.

INSIGHT

God Holds Both Generosity And Unity

God cares about both generosity and marital unity, so the solution rarely is to disobey your spouse.
Treat the tension as held by God who sees the whole situation and is present in the mess.

ADVICE

Pray First, Then Listen

Pray about the disagreement and invite God into the tension, ideally together with your spouse.
Ask God, "What do you want me to know about this situation?" and then listen quietly for His answer.

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Today, Bob & Linda open up about one of the hardest seasons of their marriage — a months-long battle over a life-altering decision that left them in tears, confusion, and deep disunity. What they learned in that painful stretch has become the backbone of how they help couples navigate money disagreements today… especially when one spouse feels called by God to give and the other isn't on board.

If you've ever wrestled with:"What do I do when I feel God nudging me to give — but my spouse isn't there?"…this episode will minister to you deeply.

Together, they unpack four biblical principles for staying unified, honoring God, and discerning His timing — without forcing agreement or abandoning conviction.

KEY TOPICS COVERED

✔️ The Lowe's Parking Lot BreakdownBob shares the raw story of the only moment he thought their marriage might not make it — and how God used that season to refine both of their hearts.

✔️ Why the enemy always pushes "either/or" thinkingAnd how God always has a third option you haven't seen yet.

✔️ What to do when you feel called to give… and your spouse doesn't.A practical, grace-filled approach that protects unity and honors conviction.

✔️ The timing principle: when a word from God is real, but not for right now. A simple budgeting tool that can reduce giving conflicts instantly:Using individual "spending money" accounts without hiding money.

✔️ How to pray when you're frustrated, angry, or absolutely sure you're right.(With two real prayers Bob & Linda actually use.)

SCRIPTURES MENTIONED (NLT)

James 1:2–5 — Endurance, wisdom, and the refinement of trials.
Romans 8:28 — God working all things for good.
Ephesians 5 — Mutual love and honor in marriage.
1 Peter 5:7 — Cast your cares on Him.

THIS WEEK'S ACTION STEP

Set aside one night to pray.

Don't solve the issue.
Don't debate it.
Simply pray for unity, wisdom, and softened hearts — together if possible.

If your spouse is not a believer or unwilling: Pray alone and gently reaffirm to them, "I'm not going to move forward without your blessing."

Then… go on a date. Restore friendship first.

ABOUT SEEDTIME MONEY

Bob & Linda Lotich help Christians transform their finances through biblical wisdom, simple systems, and a heart for generosity. Follow for practical steps, honest stories, and hope-filled conversations about money & purpose.

BONUS: Ever dreamt of hanging out with us for 6 weeks in your small group or church? Head to https://seedtime.com/true for details or shoot us a DM on Instagram (http://instagram.com/seedtime).

If you haven't checked out our best-selling book Simple Money, Rich Life (https://seedtime.com/smrl/), we think you'll love it. It was named the 2022 Book of the Year by ICFH and has over 1,000 5-star reviews on Amazon, and is best described as "a money book for people who don't read money books."

You can take it for a test drive for FREE at https://SeedTime.com/sample where you can download chapter 1 of the audiobook, grab the 1st 2 chapters of the ebook version, and even get the 5-week book study companion guide.