#450: Books I've Loved — Neil Strauss

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Jul 31, 2020

Neil Strauss, a ten-time New York Times best-selling author and acclaimed writer, shares his favorite transformative reads. He discusses how books can challenge fears and facilitate personal growth, emphasizing narratives that promote self-discovery. Strauss also delves into confronting fears that hinder spiritual growth, highlighting the importance of understanding one’s ego. The conversation touches on personal responsibility in relationships, drawing on the complexities of love addiction and emotional enmeshment, offering insightful literature to guide listeners toward healthier connections.

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ADVICE

Engaging with Books

Explore books with deeply resonating ideas.
Mark passages and develop a system for noting their impact.

INSIGHT

Sherry Huber's Wisdom

Sherry Huber's simple wisdom guides readers towards self-understanding and overcoming fear.
Her books offer practical advice for personal growth.

ADVICE

Confronting Fear

Embrace and move towards your fears to achieve freedom.
Become a scientist of your fears, demystifying their power.

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The Graveyard Book

Neil Gaiman

The Graveyard Book tells the story of Nobody 'Bod' Owens, a young boy who escapes his family's murderer, known as the man Jack, and finds refuge in a graveyard. There, he is adopted and raised by the ghostly residents, Mr. and Mrs. Owens, and protected by the mysterious caretaker Silas. As Bod grows up, he learns supernatural abilities and faces various dangers both within and outside the graveyard. The book follows Bod's adventures and his eventual transition into the world of the living, exploring themes of identity, family, and the intersection of life and death[1][2][4].

The Tao of Seneca

Practical Letters from a Stoic Master

Seneca the Younger (Lucius Annaeus Seneca)

This book is a compilation of Seneca's letters, known as the *Epistulae Morales* (Moral Epistles), which provide practical advice on Stoic principles. It covers topics such as the importance of living in accordance with nature, the dangers of external influences on happiness, the value of self-control, and the pursuit of virtue. Seneca's writings emphasize the need to focus on inner strength, endurance, and the cultivation of a sound mind, rather than seeking happiness through external goods like fame and riches[1][3][4].

Under Saturn's shadow

The Wounding and Healing of Men

James Hollis

In this book, Dr. James Hollis delves into the psychological and spiritual wounds that men often carry, tracing these issues back to a lack of male mentors and rites of passage. Hollis uses depth psychology, anecdotes from his patients, and symbolism to uncover the grief, wounding, and sorrow that men face. He outlines seven steps to healing, including remembering the loss of the fathers, telling secrets, seeking mentors, and recovering the soul’s journey. The book emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and working through the 'shadow' aspects of one’s personality, a concept rooted in Jungian psychology[2][5][4].

Essentialism

The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

Greg McKeown

In 'Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less,' Greg McKeown argues that by applying a more selective criteria for what is essential, individuals can regain control of their time and energy. The book is divided into sections such as Explore, Eliminate, and Execute, providing practical advice on distinguishing the vital few from the trivial many and eliminating non-essential activities. McKeown emphasizes the importance of clarity of focus, the ability to say 'no,' and living 'by design, not by default.' This approach helps readers achieve more by doing less and making the highest possible contribution in their personal and professional lives.

The Eden project

In Search of the Magical Other

James Hollis

This book examines the psychodynamics of relationships through a Jungian lens, focusing on the concept of the 'Magical Other' and the projections we impose on our partners. It is not a practical guide to fixing relationships but rather a call for greater personal responsibility and individual growth. Hollis explores how our childhood experiences and unconscious projections shape our relationships and argues that true intimacy can only be achieved by confronting and integrating our own psyche. The book emphasizes the importance of individuation and conscious dialogue in relationships[1][3][5].

Facing love addiction

Pia Mellody

In 'Facing Love Addiction', Pia Mellody explores the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships, particularly those involving love addiction and codependency. The book outlines how childhood experiences of abandonment or engulfment influence the choice of love partners and friends. Mellody describes love addiction as an unhealthy relationship involving obsessive time, attention, and value given to another person, often with unrealistic expectations. The book provides a recovery process through a twelve-step program, exercises, and journal-keeping, helping readers to identify and let go of toxic love and develop healthy, happy relationships. It also addresses the roles of love addicts and love avoidants, and how these patterns can be changed through self-care, individuation, and healthy boundaries[1][3][4].

Facing Codependence

Pia Mellody