Healing Honeys with Louise Rumball 226 - Eldest Daughter Energy: Why Doing Feels Safer Than Being
Sep 22, 2025
In this engaging chat, Stephanie Therapy, an attachment-focused psychotherapist, delves into the complexities of Type A women and eldest daughters who often feel compelled to control everything. She discusses how their hyper-independence, rooted in childhood patterns, impacts relationships and personal well-being. Explore why receiving support feels challenging and learn practical tools, like micro-asks and somatic practices, to cultivate a more balanced life. Discover the importance of softening control for deeper connections and healing.
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Doing Feels Safer Than Being
- Type A women often treat healing as another task because their systems are wired for output and performance.
- Stephanie says doing feels safer than being, so the work is learning to receive and soften rather than overhaul identity.
How Childhood Shapes Hyper-Independence
- Oldest-daughter roles form from small, invisible childhood shifts like sibling arrival and emotional neglect.
- Stephanie explains these kids learn usefulness over self-worth and become the family thermostat to stay connected.
Choose Partners Who Anticipate Needs
- Notice emotional attunement needs: seek partners who anticipate and meet needs without being told.
- Ask for small caring acts so others learn how to support you without you doing the work.