Brené Brown on our flawed, imperfect selves (from A Slight Change of Plans)
Jun 17, 2024
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Bestselling author and social scientist Brené Brown discusses evolving identities, navigating relationships, and redefining ambition. Topics include family dynamics, personal growth, pandemic challenges in marriage, and coping with perfectionism. The conversation emphasizes communication, resilience, and staying true to oneself amidst societal pressures.
Identify early identities shaped by family dynamics for insights into personal growth.
Challenge societal perfectionism by embracing imperfections for self-worth and growth.
Nurture relationships through communication, understanding, and individual growth for lasting connections.
Deep dives
Identity and Evolution: Patterns and Protectors
Brene Brown discusses her early identities as a protector and pattern finder, shaped by her family dynamics. The role of being a Big Sister intertwined with navigating her parent's traumas, leading to a heightened sense of awareness and intervention. This evolved into a constant pattern-finding behavior, highlighting deep-rooted traits of protection and insight that have persisted into her adulthood.
Perfectionism and Self-Worth
Exploring the roots of perfectionism, Brown connects it to an ingrained belief that being 'good' equates to lovability. She reflects on the challenges of maintaining this perfectionist identity and the impact of external judgments on her self-worth. Addressing the struggle with others' perceptions, she navigates the fine line between seeking validation and embracing imperfections in a quest for growth.
Marriage, Resilience, and Future Identities
Sharing insights on the resilience of her marriage during challenging times, Brown reflects on the belief that marriage should be a constant commitment to growth and effort. As she envisions future identities, she expresses excitement about exploring roles as a mom and a partner, emphasizing the nuances of these relationships and the joy found in witnessing personal and relational development over time.
Operationalizing Ambition
Setting metrics for success amid the current milieu involves operationalizing ambition to include conversations, books, and personal growth. Embracing ambition that encompasses life, family, health, and mental wellness is crucial. An example highlighted the impact of meaningful interactions with listeners, symbolized by creating an album of 'slight change love letters' to serve as a reminder of the positive influence on others.
Challenges and Growth in Marriage
Navigating the complexities of marriage amid trying times was discussed, acknowledging the hardship and required effort for a long-lasting relationship. The evolution of the speaker's relationship with her husband was explored, emphasizing the need for communication, understanding, and individual growth within the partnership. Reflecting on the future, the speaker aims to foster strong connections as a mother and partner, while also delving into career aspirations and maintaining a sense of self amidst external pressures.
This is an episode of another podcast we think you'll enjoy, A Slight Change of Plans, hosted by former TED Speaker Dr. Maya Shankar.
Brené Brown is a bestselling author and social scientist known for her work on complex emotions like shame and vulnerability. She opens up to Maya about the evolution of some of her most important identities: big sister, recovering perfectionist, and reluctant public figure. She also shares how COVID affected her marriage, her struggles with social media, and how she's redefining ambition.
