From Avoidant To Engaged — Her 8-Week Shift | Adam Lane Smith

Sep 19, 2025

A remarkable journey unfolds as a woman shares her transformation from avoidant attachment to a secure partnership in just eight weeks. Early trauma and unhealthy relationships are explored as roots of avoidance. The conversation reveals practical tools for building safety and trust, emphasizing the power of co-regulation. Listeners gain insights into shifting from hyper-independence to interdependence, redefining femininity, and navigating love without fear. Growth and hope for relational change shine throughout this engaging dialogue.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

ANECDOTE

Traumatic Start Shaped Attachment

Kim describes a traumatic birth and early separation that likely seeded her avoidant attachment.
She links her father's early departure and incubator stay to lifelong safety and bonding issues.

ANECDOTE

Abandonment After An Affair

Kim recounts being pursued by a married man that led to pregnancy and abandonment.
She hid the pain, wrapped it up, and dove into business success as a coping strategy.

INSIGHT

Avoidant Patterns Attract Manipulative Men

Adam notes manipulative men often target avoidant women who tolerate minimal standards.
Kim recognized she settled because avoidant patterns met men who matched her detachment.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

What does it take to shift from avoidant attachment to secure, engaged connection in just eight weeks?

In this episode, Adam talks with a client who shares her powerful story of breaking free from lifelong avoidance and building safety in love.

Topics Covered:
👉 How early childhood trauma and lack of safety shaped avoidant attachment
👉 The role of unhealthy relationships in reinforcing avoidance patterns
👉 The process of building safety through healthy masculine presence
👉 Practical tools for regulating the nervous system and creating trust
👉 Learning to co-regulate and receive love without fear
👉 Moving from hyper-independence to interdependence in relationships
👉 Redefining femininity and partnership in a secure, balanced way

If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg

Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social
5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.
https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro
X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith
Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/
I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1