ChooseFI Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Book Club with Frank Vasquez and Ginger) | Ep 574
In this engaging discussion, Frank Vasquez, host of Risk Parity Radio, shares insights from Bronnie Ware's impactful book on the top five regrets of the dying. He emphasizes the importance of living authentically and having the courage to express feelings. The duo highlights how avoiding workaholism can lead to more fulfilling family time and stronger friendships. They also explore how fear of change can prevent true happiness and the value of nurturing relationships for a richer life. Listeners are inspired to reflect on their choices and cultivate genuine connections.
01:17:47
Invert The Question To Find What Matters
- Invert big life questions: ask what causes regret to clarify what matters.
- Removing regret can lift you even without knowing what will make you happy.
A Lawyer Who Regretted Not Becoming An Artist
- John worked as a lawyer to meet his father's expectations while his true passion was art.
- He died regretting not pursuing creative dreams and lacking courage to follow his heart.
Use Freedom To Explore Creative Joys
- Use FIRE or sabbaticals to experiment with non-monetized creative pursuits.
- Do something fulfilling without forcing monetization or elite performance.
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Intro
00:00 • 39sec
Introducing Regret and the Book
00:39 • 1min
Charlie Munger's Inversion Framing
01:42 • 49sec
Why FI People Avoid Death Topics
02:31 • 8min
About Bronnie Ware and Her Method
10:25 • 2min
Regret #1: Live True To Yourself
12:52 • 3min
Monetizing Passions vs. Doing for Joy
15:28 • 6min
Regret #2: Working Too Much
21:35 • 5min
Practical Steps to Prioritize Family
27:00 • 4min
Regret #3: Not Expressing Feelings
31:26 • 2min
Regret #4: Losing Friendships
33:23 • 4min
How to Make and Deepen Friendships
37:13 • 8min
Small Bids and Everyday Connection
44:53 • 2min
Spending On Relationships Post-FIRE
47:07 • 6min
Regret #5: Allowing Happiness
53:13 • 3min
Identity, Spending, and Purpose
56:28 • 9min
Lessons from End-of-Life Encounters
01:05:56 • 9min
Final Takeaways and Further Reading
01:14:48 • 3min
Outro
01:18:05 • 8sec
#132
• Mentioned in 120 episodes
From Strength to Strength
Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life
Arthur C Brooks
In 'From Strength to Strength', Arthur C. Brooks addresses the inevitable decline in abilities that comes with aging and provides a practical guide on how to transform this period into an opportunity for growth.
Drawing on social science, philosophy, biography, theology, and eastern wisdom, as well as interviews with everyday men and women, Brooks advocates for refocusing on priorities such as deep wisdom, detachment from empty rewards, connection and service to others, and spiritual progress.
He argues that by adapting our expectations and focusing on these areas, we can achieve increased happiness and purpose in our later years.
#1486
• Mentioned in 22 episodes
The Art of Spending Money
Morgan Housel
Morgan Housel's "The Art of Spending Money" delves into the psychology of financial decisions, exploring how our emotions and biases influence our spending habits.
The book challenges conventional wisdom about saving and investing, emphasizing the importance of aligning our financial goals with our values and life experiences.
Housel uses compelling narratives and real-world examples to illustrate the complexities of money management, offering practical insights for readers of all financial backgrounds.
The book encourages readers to develop a more mindful and intentional approach to spending, helping them make choices that enhance their overall well-being.
Ultimately, it aims to empower readers to make informed financial decisions that lead to a more fulfilling life.
#250
• Mentioned in 78 episodes
The Second Mountain
The Quest for a Moral Life
David Brooks
In 'The Second Mountain', David Brooks explores the concept of two mountains in life: the first mountain, which represents individual success and ego-driven achievements, and the second mountain, which symbolizes a life of deeper meaning, commitment, and contribution to a greater good.
Brooks argues that our society's extreme individualism has torn the social fabric, and the path to repair is through making deeper commitments to a spouse and family, a vocation, a philosophy or faith, and a community.
The book is both a personal reflection on Brooks' own life journey and a broader social commentary, offering practical advice and stories of people who have lived joyous, committed lives.
#1207
• Mentioned in 26 episodes
Falling Upward
A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life
Richard Rohr
In 'Falling Upward,' Richard Rohr divides human life into two halves.
The first half is about building a life, achieving success, and establishing an identity.
The second half, often misunderstood as a period of decline, is actually a journey of spiritual growth, contentment, and deeper understanding.
Rohr argues that spiritual maturity is achieved not by avoiding failures and sufferings but by embracing them as necessary steps towards true self-discovery and union with God. The book offers practical guidance on transitioning from the outer tasks of the first half of life to the inner tasks of the second half, emphasizing the importance of integrity, love, and non-dualistic thinking.
#998
• Mentioned in 30 episodes
The Soul of Wealth
50 reflections on money and meaning
Daniel Crosby
In 'The Soul of Wealth', Dr. Daniel Crosby presents 50 short essays that delve into what wealth really is, emphasizing that true wealth encompasses friends, family, health, vocation, time, leisure, and other important aspects of life.
The book offers practical advice on how to balance monetary wealth with soulful wealth, covering topics such as how spending reveals values, the role of money in buying happiness, creating a good financial plan, the limitations of willpower, and mastering delayed gratification.
It is designed to challenge readers' thinking, rekindle forgotten truths, and empower them to adopt a new relationship with money.
#180
• Mentioned in 99 episodes
The top five regrets of the dying
Bronnie Ware
In this book, Bronnie Ware shares her experiences from working in palliative care, where she identified the five most common regrets of the dying.
These regrets include: 'I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me,' 'I wish I hadn’t worked so hard,' 'I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings,' 'I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends,' and 'I wish that I had let myself be happier.
' The book provides a heartfelt and inspiring account of how these regrets can be addressed while there is still time, promoting a life of greater compassion, honesty, and happiness.
#22555
• Mentioned in 2 episodes
The Time paradox
John Boyd
Philip Zimbardo
This book draws on thirty years of pioneering research to reveal how your individual time perspective shapes your life and is shaped by the world around you.
It introduces six major time perspectives (Past-negative, Past-positive, Present-fatalistic, Present-hedonistic, Future, and Transcendental future) and provides a practical plan for optimizing your blend of these perspectives.
The authors aim to help readers reclaim the past, enjoy the present, and master the future through new ways of seeing and working with time, based on the latest psychological research.
#2627
• Mentioned in 14 episodes
Retire Often
Jillian Johnsrud
Join Ginger and Frank as they dive into the impactful concept of regret, exploring insights from Bronnie Ware's The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Discover how these regrets can shape a life of fulfillment and happiness, and learn how to embrace self-expression and relationships to achieve true satisfaction.
Episode Summary: In this episode, the hosts explore the concept of regret and its role in shaping meaningful lives. Inspired by Bronnie Ware's work, they discuss the common regrets of those at the end of their lives and provide insights on living authentically, nurturing relationships, and prioritizing happiness. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their lives and make intentional choices to avoid future regrets.
Key Topics Discussed:
-
Introduction to Regret (00:00:00)
- Understanding the concept of regret and its implications for personal fulfillment.
-
Charlie Munger's Inversion Strategy (00:01:15)
- Utilizing inversion as a technique to clarify what leads to a fulfilling life by considering what leads to regret.
-
Overview of Bronnie Ware's Book (00:02:01)
- Discussion on The Top Five Regrets of the Dying and the importance of reflecting on these regrets to live better now.
-
First Regret: Living Authentically (00:12:32)
- "I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
- Importance of self-expression and the courage to defy societal expectations.
-
Second Regret: Courage to Express Feelings (00:20:52)
- "I wish I had the courage to express my feelings."
- The emotional costs of not sharing our feelings and the impact on personal relationships.
-
Third Regret: Maintaining Relationships (00:22:54)
- "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."
- The significance of nurturing friendships and relationships.
-
Fourth Regret: Nurturing Friendships (00:23:07)
- The necessity of continual effort in maintaining connections as life evolves.
-
Fifth Regret: Allowing Happiness (01:40:22)
- "I wish that I'd let myself be happier."
- The barriers to joy and the importance of allowing oneself to seek happiness.
-
Conclusion (01:04:19)
- Encouraging listeners to choose courage over complaint and to take proactive steps toward authentic living.
Key Quotes:
- "Live true to yourself, not others' expectations." (00:12:32)
- "Rekindle your childhood passions beyond societal expectations." (00:16:30)
- "Build friendships by starting with acquaintances and shared interests." (00:28:04)
- "Choose courage over complaint." (01:04:19)
Actionable Takeaways:
- Reflect on what makes you truly happy and take steps to pursue it.
- Invest time and resources in fostering meaningful relationships.
- Practice sharing your emotions to deepen connections.
- Engage in self-reflection to identify passions that were set aside.
Related Resources:
- The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware
- Falling Upward by Richard Rohr
- The Soul of Wealth by Daniel Crosby
Discussion Questions:
- What actions can you take today to align your life more closely with your authentic self?
- How can you prioritize relationships in your daily life?
- What does happiness mean to you, and how can you pursue it more actively?