299. The psychology of emotionally immature parents
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May 27, 2025
Dive into the complex world of emotionally immature parents and their lasting effect on adult children. Learn to recognize the signs of emotional immaturity and its roots in attachment theory. Discover how these dynamics shape your identity and relationships. The conversation offers insights on setting healthy boundaries and the importance of self-awareness. Tune in for strategies on healing, reparenting yourself, and breaking generational cycles of emotional neglect, all while navigating family dynamics with kindness and understanding.
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insights INSIGHT
Traits of Emotionally Immature Parents
Emotionally immature parents often show poor empathy, self-centeredness, and avoid emotional responsibility.
This leads to emotional neglect, which significantly impacts anxiety, depression, and emotional regulation in adulthood.
insights INSIGHT
Learning Emotional Regulation Happens With Parents
Children learn emotional regulation through co-regulation with parents, who soothe and validate feelings.
Without this, children internalize that feelings are dangerous or invalid and suppress emotions.
This book serves as a roadmap for understanding and navigating the chaotic personal and professional moments of one's twenties. Jemma Sbeg, host of the podcast 'The Psychology of Your 20s', provides advice, personal stories, and research-based insights to help readers deal with issues such as imposter syndrome, self-sabotage, anxiety, and relationship challenges. The book includes questions and self-guided moments for reflection in each chapter, aiming to enhance the reader's self-growth journey and make the most of this formative decade.
Adult children of emotionally immature parents
Marguerite Gavin
Lindsay Gibson
Lindsay C. Gibson
This book, written by clinical psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson, exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. It helps readers understand how such parents create a sense of neglect and provides ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by their childhood. The book identifies four types of difficult parents: the emotional parent, the driven parent, the passive parent, and the rejecting parent. It offers practical advice and exercises for identifying one's true self, avoiding harmful self-images and relationships, and interacting with emotionally immature parents in a healthier manner. The book aims to help readers recover their true nature, control their reactions to their parents, and build positive new relationships[1][2][4].
What happens when the people who were supposed to guide and nurture us were never taught to emotionally grow up themselves? In today’s episode, we dive into the psychology of emotionally immature parents - their behaviours, their blind spots, and the lasting impact they can have on our sense of self and emotional well-being.
We discuss:
How to spot emotional immaturity in parents
Where it can come from, and links to attachment theory
The impact on your identity, boundaries, and adult relationships
Why detaching with kindness can help
The guilt, grief, and tension that often comes with this dynamic
How to begin healing and reparenting yourself
If you’ve ever felt like the parent in your own family, or found yourself stuck in a cycle of seeking validation from someone who just can’t give it - this episode is for you.
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.