#56 - Relationship in Dzogchen, with Charlie Awbery
Oct 2, 2023
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Meditation coach Charlie Awbery joins Christofer to discuss 'Relating as beneficent space'. Topics include fixed patterns in interaction, psychological vs. Vajrayana perspective, Rigpa, accurate response, extraception, basic okayness, shadow work, somatic trauma, trust, naturalness, choice and liberation in enlightenment, and letting go of fixation and contraction.
Relating in Dzogchen involves understanding relationships as interactions over time rather than fixed objects.
Spontaneous responses in relationships arise from clear perception and non-attached understanding, while impulsive responses are driven by hidden needs and fixed patterns.
Clear perception allows for unmasking habitual responses and choosing how to interact, leading to more conscious and transformative relationships.
Deep dives
Summary of Main Idea 1
The podcast episode explores the concept of relating in the context of Dzogchen and Vajrayana perspectives. It emphasizes the importance of understanding relationships as interactions that occur over time rather than fixed objects. The episode discusses the need to liberate interaction from fixed patterns and remain uninvolved with mental contents. It highlights the significance of finding awareness in perception and responding in a spontaneous and authentic manner as beneficial space.
Summary of Main Idea 2
The podcast episode delves into the difference between impulsive and spontaneous responses in relationships. It explains that impulsive responses are driven by hidden needs and fixed patterns of interpretation, while spontaneous responses arise from clear perception and non-attached understanding. The episode emphasizes the importance of developing trust in oneself and being open to the unknown and unpredictable aspects of interactions.
Summary of Main Idea 3
The podcast episode discusses the process of unmasking habitual responses and gaining the freedom to choose how to interact in relationships. It emphasizes the value of clear perception in recognizing and transforming fixed patterns. The episode also explores the concept of choice as being intertwined with the experience of spaciousness and clarity, allowing for a greater range of possibilities and more conscious interactions.
Importance of Letting Go of Fixations in Interactions
In this podcast episode, the speakers discuss the importance of letting go of fixations in our interactions. They highlight the difference between being triggered and having a spacious awareness of our reactions. They emphasize the need to step back, hold space for our thoughts and emotions, and embrace them without getting caught up in them. By doing so, there is a possibility for transformation and a more effective and congruent way of relating to others.
Viewing Relationships as Transparent, Empty Appearances
The speakers also explore the concept of viewing relationships as transparent, empty appearances. They suggest that by seeing our interactions as patterns in the present moment, we can bring a fresh perspective to any relationship. This perspective allows us to create and play with interactions, bringing new care and integrity to each interaction. They highlight that lasting relationships are built on continuity, trust, and familiarity, which are formed through interactions rooted in integrity. They also emphasize the importance of understanding emptiness and not getting caught up in fixed interpretations of ourselves and others.
Christofer and meditation coach Charlie Awbery speak about their article 'Relating as beneficent space' in this episode of Do Explain. They discuss fixed patterns in interaction, psychological vs. Vajrayana perspective, Rigpa, accurate response, extraception, basic okayness, and other related topics.
Charlie Awbery is a British born Vajrayana meditation coach, living in the US. They have a ton of experience in traditional Vajrayana - decades of practice, retreats, and application in ordinary life - that they bring to their coaching and teaching for contemporary practitioners uninterested in the cultural baggage associated with traditional contexts. They work with nerdy high-achievers, tech and finance industry professionals dedicated to understanding their minds, people who want to lead their best, most productive and beneficial lives.
They co-founded Evolving Ground, a community for contemporary Vajrayana practitioners, where they lead group practices, discussions, gatherings, and retreats.