Ryan And Wife Samantha Holiday On Emotionally Matured Parents
Oct 21, 2023
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Samantha Holiday, co-host of the Daily Dad Podcast and Ryan Holiday's wife, shares insightful parenting wisdom. They discuss the importance of believing in the goodness of children and how empathy fuels stronger connections. Samantha emphasizes understanding emotions for effective parenting, offering practical strategies to improve communication and set boundaries. They dive into navigating relationships with ADD and the evolving dynamics as kids grow, promoting a reflective approach for deeper familial bonds.
Repairing the connection with your child after moments of disconnection or conflict is crucial for promoting understanding and rewriting the narrative of the parent-child relationship.
Setting clear boundaries with children involves actionable and palatable guidelines, accompanied by discussions about emotions and potential reactions, to foster compliance and understanding.
Deep dives
Importance of Repairing After Conflict
One of the key ideas discussed in the podcast episode is the concept of repair in parenting. The host emphasizes the importance of repairing the connection with your child after moments of disconnection or conflict. Repairing involves acknowledging mistakes, apologizing, and discussing the situation with your child. By going back non-defensively and showing that you care about their discomfort, you allow your child to rewrite the ending of the story, promoting connection and understanding. The host highlights that repair can happen immediately after a blow-up or even years later, emphasizing the power of repairing for both the child and the parent.
Setting Boundaries with Children
Another main point in the podcast is the significance of setting clear boundaries with children. The host shares their realization that setting boundaries was important, but they were not doing it effectively. They discovered that boundaries should not just be about what the parents want but should be actionable and palatable for the children. The host gives an example of setting clear TV time limits, but more importantly, they emphasize the need for discussing emotions and potential reactions to boundary enforcement. By helping children understand their emotions and discussing possible outcomes, parents can foster understanding and promote compliance in a more effective and supportive way.
Understanding Your Child's Emotional Regulation
The podcast episode also delves into the topic of emotional regulation in children. The host highlights that children's behaviors often stem from emotional dysregulation, similar to adults. Rather than focusing solely on behavior correction, the host suggests understanding and addressing the underlying emotions contributing to certain behaviors. They encourage parents to recognize and talk to their children about their emotions, using tools such as a feelings chart. By validating and discussing emotions with children, parents can help them develop emotional awareness and regulate their feelings in a healthier manner.
The Power of Repairing in Parent-Child Relationships
One of the overarching themes discussed in the podcast is the power of repair in parent-child relationships. The host emphasizes that repair is a crucial aspect of parenting, as it involves acknowledging imperfections and working towards reconnecting after moments of disconnection or conflict. Repairing enables both the parent and child to rewrite the narrative, fostering understanding and connection instead of aloneness or fear. The host encourages parents to embrace repair as an ongoing practice, stating that good parents don't strive to get it right all the time, but rather focus on repairing and improving the parent-child relationship.
On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad, Ryan talks with his wife Samantha on starting with the idea that your kids are good inside, what truly is our role in helping our children instead of whats wrong, and more parenting tips from Dr. Becky Kennedy and her book Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be