Anne, a compulsive helper, explores her need to fix others at the expense of her own family. The podcast delves into burnout, lack of leadership at work, family dynamics, and the ethics of helping. It highlights the pressure to always assist, the interplay of anxiety and curiosity in decision-making, and the importance of self-care and authenticity in relationships.
Compulsion to help stems from a need to avoid feeling like an 'asshole'.
Childhood experiences shape behavior patterns of overextending help to compensate for past losses.
Deep dives
Recognizing Compulsive Help Behavior
The podcast explores the guest's deep-rooted compulsion to help others even when not asked for help. This behavior stems from a need to avoid feeling like an 'asshole' by proving oneself through continuous assistance. Examples like assisting a girl in a non-life-threatening situation and investing excessive energy in personal and professional roles highlight this compulsion.
The Impact of Early Life Experiences
The guest reflects on how early experiences, such as the loss of a parent and ingrained family dynamics, shaped her compulsion to assist others. Her pattern of overextending help to compensate for past losses, like her mother's dominant influence and her father's struggles, underscores the influence of childhood experiences on her current behavior.
Energy Leaks and Personal Boundaries
The conversation delves into the concept of 'energy leaking' as a signal of overextending oneself by helping others beyond healthy limits. By equating continuous assistance with avoiding being labeled an 'asshole,' the guest neglects personal boundaries, leading to energy depletion and neglect of critical relationships.
Embracing Curiosity and Self-Reflection
The podcast encourages the guest to shift from anxious to curious, fostering self-awareness and mindful decision-making regarding offering help. Emphasizing the importance of personal choice and self-evaluation in determining when to assist others, the guest is urged to acknowledge and address her compulsion while maintaining healthy boundaries.
Anne (40) has a compulsion to help and fix people, even if they don’t ask for it. In both work and private situations. Sometimes she even does so at the expense of her own kids. Why does she keep putting so much energy in other people instead of herself and her family?
Do you also have a personal problem and would you like to discuss it with Berthold in the podcast? We would love to have you as our guest!Click here for more info and the application form.
This year, the best-selling tear-off calendar in the Netherlands is also available in English for the first time! Order here: www.omdenken.nl/calendar.
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