TED Talks Daily Your relationship expectations could be holding you back | Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile (re-release)
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Oct 4, 2025 
In this thought-provoking discussion, couples therapist Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile delves into breaking free from conventional relationship norms. She highlights how societal expectations create resentment and explores the idea that couples can thrive by embracing individuality. Stephanie shares insights on the potential pitfalls of moving in together too soon and suggests that living apart might enhance connection. She champions tailored approaches to relationships, encouraging partners to accept their differences and question the traditional rules.
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Rethink Relationship Norms
- Our metric of relationship success is often imitation of societal norms, not what actually fits us.
- Comparing to norms breeds resentment and shame that harm relationships.
Couple Who Lived Apart Reconnected
- An engaged couple moved in after three months and struggled with blended-family logistics and chores.
- They lived apart temporarily, signed a contract, and communication and connection significantly improved.
Try Short Experiments, Not Drastic Jumps
- Test alternative arrangements deliberately and make explicit agreements about expectations and dates.
- Use short experiments to evaluate if traditional setups (like cohabitation) help or harm your bond.
