Life Kit Dear Life Kit: I have the same holiday drama with my family every year
43 snips
Dec 16, 2025 
In this enlightening discussion, Bob Bordone, a Harvard Law negotiation expert, joins therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy. They tackle common holiday dilemmas, offering strategies for managing family tensions. Listeners learn the art of transforming unilateral decisions into collaborative talks. Sahaj emphasizes clarifying individual needs, while Bob provides calm responses to push back on arguments. The duo also shares tips on defining expectations with in-laws, coping with unmet hopes, and setting boundaries without conflict. Excellent advice for harmonious gatherings!
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Reset Unrealistic Holiday Expectations
- People repeatedly expect holiday gatherings to be different despite past patterns of conflict and disappointment.
- Sahaj Kaur Kohli says being realistic about expectations helps minimize holiday stress.
Talk Early Before Plans Are Declared
- Talk early and have a real conversation before someone 'declares' holiday plans to avoid yearly fights.
- Bob Bordone recommends conversational resets and inviting curiosity about motivations.
Define Specific Grandpa/Grandma Expectations
- Define specific stakes and interests with your partner before approaching grandparents about involvement.
- Sahaj Kaur Kohli advises specifying what you want (visits, babysitting, hours) to fill gaps elsewhere.
