Negotiating with High Conflict Personalities: A Transformative Approach
In this enlightening episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute welcome Michèle Huff, author of "The Transformative Negotiator: Changing the Way We Come to Agreement." Through her experience as a transactional lawyer and current executive director at UC Berkeley's Office of Business Contracts and Brand Protection, Huff shares insights that align perfectly with managing high conflict situations while maintaining humanity and connection.
The conversation explores how Huff's unique approach to negotiation - emphasizing internal transformation and human connection - can be particularly effective when dealing with high conflict personalities. Drawing from Buddhist principles and years of experience in Silicon Valley, Huff explains how understanding oneself becomes crucial when facing challenging behaviors in negotiations. Bill and Megan connect these concepts to their extensive work with high conflict personalities, showing how transformative negotiation techniques can help manage difficult situations.
The discussion delves into practical strategies for maintaining composure when faced with high conflict behaviors, including the use of "anchoring" techniques and mindful breathing. Particularly valuable is the exploration of how these methods can work even in high-stakes business environments where traditional aggressive negotiation tactics are common. The episode also addresses cultural differences in negotiation styles, offering insights into managing high conflict situations across cultural boundaries.
Questions we answer in this episode:
- How do you maintain effectiveness when dealing with high conflict personalities?
- What techniques help keep negotiations productive when emotions run high?
- How can you recognize early warning signs of high conflict behavior in negotiations?
- When should you walk away from a negotiation?
- What role does self-awareness play in managing difficult negotiations?
Key Takeaways:
- Understanding your own triggers helps manage high conflict situations
- Human connection can defuse potentially volatile negotiations
- Physical and emotional well-being directly impacts negotiation success
- Setting appropriate boundaries is crucial in high conflict situations
- Transformative negotiation techniques work in both personal and professional contexts
This episode provides essential insights for anyone who deals with high conflict personalities in negotiations, from business professionals to mediators to individuals managing personal relationships. Huff's approach to transformative negotiation, combined with Bill and Megan's expertise in high conflict personalities, offers practical strategies for achieving better outcomes while maintaining professional boundaries and personal well-being.
Links & Other Notes
BOOKS
- The Transformative Negotiator: Changing the Way We Come to Agreement (Revised & Updated Edition)
GUEST MICHELE HUFF WEBSITE
ARTICLES
OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help.
- (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
- (01:37) - Michèle Huff
- (05:21) - Her Background
- (11:22) - Book’s Title
- (13:09) - Soft Skills in Negotiations
- (17:31) - Transferring Skills
- (20:50) - Mistakes in Negotiating
- (25:45) - Negotiating with HCPs
- (34:22) - Caring and Authenticity
- (40:32) - Finding Your Anchors and Keeping Deadlines at Bay
- (45:47) - Resistance
- (50:21) - Dedication
- (54:07) - Wrap Up
- (54:54) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Kara Rubenstein on DNA Surprises
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It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People 