Build a Love that Lasts Using the Science of Positive Psychology. With Suzann Pileggi
Feb 14, 2025
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Suzann Pileggi, co-author of "Happy Together," dives into the science of positive psychology to help couples build lasting love. She highlights the essential skills for nurturing relationships, such as self-awareness and active listening. The discussion uncovers how personal happiness directly impacts romantic bonds and emphasizes teamwork and appreciation of each partner's strengths. Suzann also explores the role of authenticity and mindfulness in fostering genuine connections while redefining joy within partnerships for sustainable growth.
Suzann Pileggi emphasizes the importance of intentionally learning relationship skills to sustain love beyond initial excitement, rectifying societal neglect in teaching these essential tools.
The podcast highlights how positive psychology can enhance relationships by focusing on individual strengths and fostering deeper emotional connections for long-lasting happiness.
Deep dives
The Importance of Relationship Skills
Many individuals invest considerable time in personal growth and fitness but often neglect the skills needed to nurture and sustain romantic relationships. Suzanne Pelleggi emphasizes that the focus should not only be on the initial excitement of a relationship, such as engagements and weddings, but also on how couples can build lasting happiness together. She highlights that societal norms frequently overlook teaching relationship skills, leading to individuals relying on flawed role models instead. This gap points to the necessity for intentional learning and practice in developing healthy relationship dynamics for long-term satisfaction.
Awareness and Habit Formation
Awareness is a crucial first step in improving relationships, as understanding one's own habits enables individuals to make meaningful changes. Pelleggi notes that unlike traditional views that suggest our habits are set, recent research indicates it's possible to shape our behaviors at any age. By developing new neural pathways through practice, individuals can foster healthier interactions with their partners. Acknowledging past relationship patterns can empower individuals to make proactive decisions in current and future relationships, breaking the cycle of negative habits.
The Role of Positive Psychology
Positive psychology focuses on enhancing overall well-being by nurturing positive emotions and character strengths within relationships. Pelleggi explains that examining strengths, both personal and within the partnership, can pave the way for deeper connections. Instead of fixating solely on commonalities, couples should explore each other's individual strengths and how they can complement one another in their relationship. This focus can transform ordinary interactions into enriching experiences, helping partners to grow both personally and together.
The Dynamics of Love and Passion
Sustainable love transcends mere physical attraction, encompassing deeper qualities of character and compatibility. Pelleggi differentiates between types of passion: obsessive passion, which may lead to dependency, and harmonious passion, characterized by mutual respect and support for each other's growth. Couples are encouraged to integrate activities that foster joy and positive interactions, moving beyond simplistic notions of romantic gestures. By recognizing the significance of shared experiences and deepening emotional connections, partners can cultivate a lasting, fulfilling love.
Welcome to an encore edition of Untangle in honor of Valentines day. Many of us spend hours in the gym, or reading books on personal growth, or at mindfulness retreats working on getting stronger and healthier emotionally and physically. BUT, when it comes to working on our relationships, we simply HOPE that our feelings about our romantic partner will magically freeze in that exciting cocoon of the first year we’re together.
Suzann Pileggi, co-author of "Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love that Lasts," shares what it takes to really grow and deepen love. She provides insights on the connection between our overall happiness and our most important relationships.
Check out Suzann's website at www.buildhappytogether.com.
As always, we’re Untangle, the podcast from Muse, the brain sensing headband dedicated to unlocking your brains potential AND Meditation Studio the five star app. Unlock 30 days of Meditation Studio for free at choosemuse.com/meditationstudio.