Mia Birdsong discusses rethinking success, building community, mutuality vs reciprocity, asking for help, and the etymological link between friendship and freedom. She challenges the idea of going it alone, emphasizes the transformative power of relationships, and advocates for prioritizing human well-being over profit in society.
Success is redefined as community and relationships over money and power.
Embrace mutuality over reciprocity for building strong interconnected communities.
View rejection as setting boundaries, promoting healthy relationships and respect for individual limits.
Deep dives
Rethinking Success and Individualism
In this podcast episode, the guest Mia Birdsong discusses redefining success away from the traditional individualistic culture emphasizing money and power. Instead, she highlights the importance of relationship and community, debunking the notion of independence as a sole measure of success. Birdsong's insights challenge the prevailing beliefs about success and underscore the value of character skills over cognitive skills in today's workplace.
Building Community and Mutuality
Mia Birdsong shares practical tips on building community, emphasizing the significance of mutuality over mere reciprocity. By engaging with others in raising children and fostering interdependent relationships, she illustrates the concept of collective contribution based on individual capabilities within communities. Birdsong's approach shifts the focus from a one-on-one exchange to a group dynamic, promoting a shared responsibility for well-being.
Navigating Rejection and Boundaries
One key takeaway from the podcast is the perspective on rejection as information about others, not as a personal affront. Mia Birdsong advises viewing 'no' responses as boundaries set by individuals to prioritize their well-being, rather than as a rejection of one's request. Understanding and respecting these boundaries allows for healthy interactions and cultivates gratitude towards others for maintaining their personal limits.
Recognizing the Importance of Boundaries in Relationships
Understanding that boundaries are essential in relationships can help navigate situations where one party consistently says no. Resentment can signal a boundary being crossed, indicating the need to assess the level of giving in a relationship. Adjusting expectations and discussing boundaries openly can help maintain balance and ensure that relationships remain healthy and respectful.
Freedom Rooted in Relationship and Community
Exploring the etymological connection between friendship and freedom reveals the significance of connected community in achieving true freedom. Recognizing the historical context of freedom as being part of a collective supports the idea that individual freedom is intertwined with communal well-being. Embracing interdependence and asking for help fosters stronger relationships and a sense of unity, highlighting the transformative power of community support.
Radical advice on rethinking success, individualism, and the American dream.
Mia Birdsong is a pathfinder, culture change visionary, and futurist. She is the founding Executive Director of Next River, a think tank and culture change lab for interconnected freedom. In her book How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community, Mia maps swaths of community life and points us toward the promise of our collective vitality.
In this episode we talk about:
How to build community
What it looks like in her own life
Mutuality vs reciprocity
How to work with resentment and rejection
The etymological connection between friendship and freedom
The transformative power of asking for help
And why she thinks the idea of bootstrapping—or going it alone—is a kind of self-hatred