Relationship Renovation: Marriage Advice, Intimacy & Couples Communication

235 - Redefining Intimacy: Zach Brittle on Emotional, Physical, and Sexual Connection in Long-Term Relationships

Jul 25, 2025

Zach Brittle, a Relational Life Therapist and certified Gottman therapist, explores the intricate layers of intimacy in long-term relationships. He discusses five types of intimacy—emotional, intellectual, physical, sexual, and spiritual—and emphasizes the need for couples to negotiate across all of them. Zach delves into the purpose of sex, offers alternative forms of intimacy, and provides insight on starting conversations when intimacy feels broken. His advice includes defining desires and using negotiation strategies to foster connection and understanding.

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INSIGHT

Intimacy Is Multi-Dimensional

Intimacy has many distinct domains beyond just emotional and sexual, including intellectual, physical, and spiritual connection.
Couples must negotiate and cultivate all domains rather than treating intimacy as a binary tradeoff.

ADVICE

Define The Goal Before You Talk

Before starting a conversation about sex, define exactly what outcome each partner wants from that discussion.
Level the playing field by clarifying whether you want decisions, information, or simply to vent.

INSIGHT

Broaden What 'Sex' Actually Means

Sexual intimacy includes many activities beyond intercourse, like making out, talking about sex, or shopping for toys together.
Expanding what 'counts' as sexual intimacy increases connection opportunities without forcing intercourse.

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What does true intimacy mean, and how can couples move beyond just physical or sexual connection?

Why do so many couples struggle to talk openly about their sex lives, and how can this conversation be improved?

How can partners negotiate their different needs for emotional, intellectual, and sexual intimacy over the long term?

In this transformative episode of the Relationship Renovation Podcast, hosts Tarah and EJ Kerwin sit down with Zach Brittle, renowned couples therapist and host of Marriage Therapy Radio, to unpack the complex and often misunderstood world of intimacy in long-term relationships. Zach, who is uniquely certified in both Relational Life Therapy and Gottman Therapy, dives deep into the many layers of intimacy—emotional, intellectual, physical, sexual, and spiritual. Instead of falling into the trap of viewing intimacy as a simple binary between emotional and physical needs, Zach introduces powerful new frameworks and negotiation strategies that empower couples to identify, define, and revive all forms of connection in their relationships.

Listeners will hear candid, refreshing discussions on why so many partners feel disconnected—sexually and emotionally—even after years together, and how shifting your mindset and communication style can make all the difference. Zach shares insightful questions every couple should ask themselves, like “What is sex for?” and “What truly counts as intimacy in our relationship?” Whether you’re struggling with mismatched sex drives, navigating changing bodies, or just looking for more depth and openness in your partnership, this episode offers actionable tools and fresh perspectives. Tune in and get inspired to talk about intimacy in entirely new ways—these are conversations that could transform your relationship forever!

Learn More About Zach Brittle

Listen to Marriage Therapy Radio

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