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How can I stop being a people pleaser?

Dec 12, 2024

Many people struggle with saying yes when they really want to say no, leading to unhealthy habits. This compulsion, known as people-pleasing, can harm your mental and physical health. The discussion dives into why we feel the need to please others and offers practical strategies to break free from this instinct. Setting boundaries and engaging in self-reflection are crucial steps to regain control and prioritize your own well-being. Discover how to empower yourself and stop that uncomfortable chuckle of compliance!

04:25

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Quick takeaways

People pleasing often stems from a fear of rejection rooted in childhood, endangering both physical and mental health.

Setting boundaries by learning to say no is essential for overcoming people pleasing and reclaiming personal autonomy.

Deep dives

Understanding People Pleasing

People pleasing is characterized by the compulsion to avoid disappointing others, which can threaten both physical and mental well-being. This behavior often stems from a deep-seated fear of rejection or the anxiety associated with not being liked, usually rooted in childhood experiences. Learning to say no is crucial in breaking free from this cycle, as setting boundaries helps individuals reclaim their autonomy. Gradual repetition in declining minor requests can help make this behavior more ingrained and reduce the instinct to acquiesce under pressure.

Breaking Free from People Pleasing: Understanding and Overcoming the Instinct

4min

Did you get roped into taking care of your neighbour's dog again? End up laughing at a colleague’s awkward joke about your outfit? Or say yes to a last-minute task that your boss dropped on you out of nowhere? Your instinct may have been screaming "no," but as usual, you found yourself chuckling uncomfortably and reluctantly saying "yes" through clenched teeth.

This compulsion to avoid disappointing others is known as "people-pleasing." For some, the joy derived from pleasing others can end up being a real problem, posing a threat to both physical and mental well-being.

So how can I break free then? Are you saying I literally can’t please everyone then? In under 3 minutes, we answer your questions!

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A podcast written and realised by Joseph Chance.

First Broadcast: 5/2/2024

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