How To Live Well—Even Amidst Failure, Uncertainty, Loss, and Physical Pain | Kieran Setiya

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Sep 22, 2025

Kieran Setiya, a philosophy professor at MIT and author known for exploring practical philosophy, dives into how to live well amidst life's challenges. He discusses the importance of engaging with reality rather than chasing happiness, offers insights on dealing with grief and the inevitability of missing out, and critiques stoic approaches to loss. Setiya shares personal strategies for managing chronic pain and reframing failure, encouraging a focus on the process rather than outcomes. His philosophy challenges us to navigate life with resilience and hope.

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INSIGHT

Philosophy Is Practical By Origin

Philosophy began as practical guidance about virtues and how to live, not just abstract theorizing.
Modern philosophy can and should reconnect theoretical work to everyday life and choices.

ADVICE

Reframe Missing Out As A Feature

When you feel you've missed out, remember that's the price of living in a world with many genuine goods.
Reframe regret as evidence of evaluative richness rather than a personal failure.

ANECDOTE

Grief As Proof You Loved

Dan buried his father-in-law's ashes and reflected on grief while on location in Montauk.
Kieran responded that grief shows you cared and is the flip side of love, not a failure.

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Practical ways to lead a good life.

Kieran Setiya is the Peter de Florez Professor of Philosophy at MIT, where he works on ethics and related questions about human agency and human knowledge. He is the author of Midlife: A Philosophical Guide and Life Is Hard: How Philosophy Can Help Us Find Our Way. He also maintains a Substack newsletter, Under the Net.

In this episode we talk about:

How Kieran became interested in practical philosophy (and philosophy more generally)
A brief history of philosophy
The connection between philosophy and self-help
Whether Buddhism is a philosophy?
The upside of missing out (as opposed to FOMO)
Kieran’s mild beef with the Stoics
techniques for dealing with grief and loss
Why living well is not the same as feeling happy
The connection between Plato, Aristotle and contemporary influencers today
How to deal with physical adversity
Navigating failure
Kieran’s case for meditation
Operationalizing the cliché of “enjoying the process” rather than the outcome
How to deal with the injustices of the world

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