The emotions you’ve felt but never named with John Koenig
Mar 4, 2025
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In this engaging conversation, John Koenig, author of 'The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows,' introduces fascinating concepts like 'sonder,' the realization that every passerby has a rich inner life. He and Adam Grant discuss the emotional nuances of finishing a great book, the dread of pursuing dreams, and the power of language to connect us. John shares his creative process for inventing new words, shedding light on how naming emotions can deepen our empathy and improve our connections in a complex world.
The introduction of new words by John Koenig enhances our emotional vocabulary, enabling better communication and connection with complex feelings.
The exploration of emotions like 'sonder' and 'swerta' reveals the intertwined nature of joy and sorrow in the human experience.
Deep dives
The Power of Language in Describing Emotions
Inventing new words to articulate complex emotions can profoundly enhance our understanding of human experiences. John Koenig's work in coining terms, particularly through his book 'The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows,' serves as a powerful tool for expressing feelings that often lack labels. For instance, the word 'sonder' captures the realization that every person has a rich inner life and story, compelling us to empathize with others. This process of naming emotions not only clarifies our feelings but also allows us to share them more easily with others, fostering deeper connections.
Exploring the Complexity of Human Relationships
A recurring theme in the discussion highlights the multifaceted nature of human relationships and the layers of complexity within them. Emotions such as 'sonder' and 'liberosis' elucidate how individuals can feel both a deep connection and a desire to care less about the overwhelming world around them. As people navigate social interactions, they grapple with their own complexities and those of others, often feeling the tension between understanding and uncertainty. This complexity is magnified in today's world, where binary thinking can diminish the richness of interpersonal dynamics.
The Intersection of Joy and Sorrow in Human Experience
The conversation reveals that joy and sorrow are often intertwined in our emotional tapestry, creating a nuanced understanding of the human condition. Koenig's term 'swerta' describes the sense of gratitude for existence, while simultaneously highlighting the quiet amazement of being alive against overwhelming odds. This dichotomy mirrors the bittersweet nature of life, where moments of bliss coexist with the awareness of loss and transience. By recognizing these emotions as interconnected, individuals can embrace their full spectrum, fostering resilience and mindfulness.
The Role of Context in Emotional Awareness
A significant insight from the discussion is the impact of context on emotional awareness and understanding. The term 'debut' exemplifies the realization that present moments will eventually transform into memories, prompting individuals to reflect on the significance of their experiences. This awareness encourages people to approach the present with intention, recognizing its fleeting nature. Such mindfulness can lead to richer life experiences, as individuals prioritize meaningful interactions and moments that will define their personal narratives.
Have you heard of the word sonder? It’s the realization that each “random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.” John Koenig introduced it in his book The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows—a compilation of new words aiming to capture the nuance and complexity of emotions that can be hard to put a finger on. In this vocabulary-expanding episode, John and Adam explore the sense of loss upon finishing a great book or movie, the dread of chasing a dream, and the awe of human existence. They discuss John’s method and motivation for inventing new words and consider the profound capacity for language to show people that they’re not alone.