In this engaging conversation, John Koenig, author of 'The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows,' introduces fascinating concepts like 'sonder,' the realization that every passerby has a rich inner life. He and Adam Grant discuss the emotional nuances of finishing a great book, the dread of pursuing dreams, and the power of language to connect us. John shares his creative process for inventing new words, shedding light on how naming emotions can deepen our empathy and improve our connections in a complex world.
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insights INSIGHT
Sonder: Sorrow and Joy
Sonder is the realization that every passerby lives a life as vivid and complex as your own.
It's a sorrow because you miss out on so much story, but also a joy for how much exists.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Sonder's Origin
John Koenig often gets inspired to write at 3 AM.
Sonder originated from reflecting on brief encounters with strangers on the highway.
insights INSIGHT
Sonder and Compassion
Recognizing others' complexity through Sonder fosters compassion.
Sonder can combat binary bias, which fuels division by flattening human complexity.
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In 'Think Again', Adam Grant argues that the ability to rethink at personal, interpersonal, and collective levels is crucial in today's polarized world. He uses scientific research, personal anecdotes, and engaging stories to illustrate how people can find joy in being wrong, leverage the benefits of impostor syndrome, and cultivate environments of lifelong learning. Grant emphasizes the need to challenge our convictions, adopt a scientific mindset, and foster curiosity and humility. He provides examples of individuals who have successfully rethought their approaches, from firefighters to business leaders, and offers practical exercises for improving rethinking skills[2][4][5].
Women Who Think Too Much
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Susan Nolan Hoeksma
Susan Nolan Hoeksma's "Women Who Think Too Much" delves into the pervasive issue of overthinking among women. The book explores how excessive thinking patterns contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges. Hoeksma provides practical strategies and techniques to help women manage their thoughts and emotions effectively. The book emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and acceptance in the process of overcoming overthinking. It offers a supportive and empowering approach to help women break free from negative thought cycles and cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Iron John
A Book About Men
Robert Bly
In this book, Robert Bly uses the Grimm fairy tale 'Iron John' to analyze and redefine traditional notions of masculinity. Bly draws on Jungian psychology and mythology to outline a journey of male maturation, emphasizing the importance of male initiation rites, the role of the 'Wild Man' archetype, and the need for men to balance their emotional and instinctual selves. The book is a seminal work in the mythopoetic men's movement and has been influential in discussions about modern masculinity[2][3][5].
The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows
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John Koenig
John Koenig's "The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows" is a unique collection of newly coined words that explore the complexities of human emotions. Each word is meticulously crafted to capture subtle feelings and experiences often lacking adequate expression in the English language. The book delves into the nuances of sadness, joy, and everything in between, offering readers a fresh perspective on the emotional spectrum. Koenig's work has resonated with many, providing a vocabulary for feelings previously unnamed and fostering a sense of shared human experience. The book's innovative approach to language and emotion has made it a popular and thought-provoking read.
Have you heard of the word sonder? It’s the realization that each “random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.” John Koenig introduced it in his book The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows—a compilation of new words aiming to capture the nuance and complexity of emotions that can be hard to put a finger on. In this vocabulary-expanding episode, John and Adam explore the sense of loss upon finishing a great book or movie, the dread of chasing a dream, and the awe of human existence. They discuss John’s method and motivation for inventing new words and consider the profound capacity for language to show people that they’re not alone.
Worklife with Adam Grant 
