In this conversation, Sarah Gormley, author of 'The Order of Things,' shares her inspiring journey from a successful career to confronting deep-seated self-loathing. She highlights the transformative power of therapy, the complex interplay of grief and gratitude, and practical tools to combat negative self-talk. Sarah also discusses the emotional challenges of caregiving and the importance of self-kindness in fostering healthier relationships. Her reflections on personal identity and growth encourage listeners to embrace authenticity and face their inner saboteurs.
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Control Over Emotional Self
We are in charge of our emotional selves through conscious effort.
Feeding the healthy part of ourselves can transform our emotional well-being.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Memoir on Self-Loathing and Caregiving
Sarah's memoir narrates her return to Ohio to care for her dying mother and confront self-loathing.
Her self-loathing manifested as a drive for achievement, which left her unfulfilled.
insights INSIGHT
Midlife’s Shift in Motivation
Many find their earlier success strategies stop working in their 40s.
This prompts questioning about one's true needs beyond external achievements.
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The Noonday Demon is a memoir and a thorough examination of depression. Andrew Solomon draws on his own struggles with the illness, as well as interviews with fellow sufferers, doctors, scientists, policymakers, and philosophers. The book delves into the complexities and agony of depression, discusses various treatments and medications, and explores the moral and ethical questions surrounding biological explanations for mental illness. It also covers historical, social, biological, and medical aspects of depression, making it a rich and absorbing work that contributes significantly to our understanding of mental illness and the human condition.
The order of things
Michel Foucault
In 'The Order of Things,' Michel Foucault examines the historical development of the human sciences, including psychology, sociology, anthropology, and linguistics. He introduces the concept of 'episteme,' which refers to the underlying structure of thought that defines what is considered true and acceptable in a given historical period. Foucault analyzes how these epistemes change over time, particularly from the Classical Age to Modernity, and how they influence the fields of language, biology, and economics. The book is known for its complex and detailed analysis, including a forensic examination of Diego Velázquez's painting 'Las Meninas' to illustrate the structural parallels in perception and representation[3][4][5].
In this episode, Sarah Gormley discusses the quiet pain of self-loathing and finding the courage to face it. Sarah had it all – a thriving corporate career, success, and admiration. But beneath was a quiet, relentless self-loathing she couldn’t shake. In her memoir, The Order of Things, Sarah shares the profound turning point at 40 when she finally asked, is this how it’s going to feel forever? She unpacks why therapy isn’t linear, how grief can deepen gratitude, and the freedom that comes when we stop performing and start genuinely living.
Feeling stuck? It could be one of the six saboteurs of self-control—things like autopilot, self-doubt, or emotional escapism. But here’s the good news: you can outsmart them. Download the free Six Saboteurs of Self-Control ebook now at oneyoufeed.net/ebook and start taking back control today!
Key Takeaways:
Journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance
Importance of mental health and therapy
Struggles with self-loathing and emotional challenges
Impact of grief on personal growth and gratitude
Relationship dynamics and self-worth
Caregiving experiences and their emotional complexities
Navigating grief while supporting others
The role of compassion in healing
Tools for managing negative self-talk and thought patterns
The interplay of environment, genetics, and personal agency in shaping identity
If you enjoyed this conversation with Sarah Gormley, check out these other episodes:
The One You Feed 
