Esther Perel ON: Finding Love & the Real Reason Couples Break Up

15 snips

Jul 12, 2021

Esther Perel, a New York Times bestselling author and renowned psychotherapist, joins Jay Shetty to explore the intricate world of love and relationships. They discuss how the quality of our connections shapes our lives and the unique challenges couples faced during the pandemic. Perel emphasizes the importance of communication and setting boundaries, especially in times of pressure. She also introduces her engaging game designed to facilitate deep conversations, helping people navigate love and foster emotional connections in their lives.

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INSIGHT

Relationship Quality

The quality of our relationships significantly impacts the overall quality of our lives.
Esther Perel realized this through observing the impact of loss and the importance of connection in her family's history.

INSIGHT

Lockdown's Impact

Lockdown acted as a relationship accelerator, intensifying both beginnings and endings.
It highlighted pre-existing cracks and strengths, restricted novelty, and amplified loneliness.

ADVICE

Navigating Pressure

Establish boundaries between work, home, and different roles to maintain structure.
Create routines and rituals to foster stability and special moments.

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You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.

Esther Perel talks with Jay Shetty about how the quality of our relationships affect our daily life, the right mindset when seeking love, creating a connection, or keeping a partnership, and the biggest relationship challenges during the pandemic.

Belgian psychotherapist Esther Perel is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker and podcast host. Her celebrated TED talks have garnered more than 30 million views and she is also the host of the popular podcast Where Should We Begin? and How's Work?. Her newest project is Where Should We Begin - A Game of Stories. Learn more at EstherPerel.com/TheGame

What We Discuss with Esther:

00:00 Intro
02:17 The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives
04:37 Relationship challenges while in quarantine and lockdown
08:55 Approaching a relationship at times of pressure
13:26 Resetting expectations of ourselves and boundaries of our space
18:23 When you’re putting an effort but your partner is unresponsive
22:14 Skills we lost in the pandemic and the skills we gained
27:47 Playing the ‘Where Should We Begin?’ game
33:58 Asking boring questions makes you feel that people are boring
36:48 Relationships about death, sex, and money
39:48 The intention or mindset one should approach love and relationships when seeking out a partner
42:57 From feeling madly in love to then feeling out of love, when they weren’t truly in love
45:36 What are the deepest, truest root reasons that relationships fail?
52:00 Have you been affected by the experience of infidelity in your life?
57:21 When to break up and move, when to stay and hold on
59:55 Fill in The Blanks
01:01:30 Esther on the Final Five
01:06:30 Meeting people who are truly happy and purposeful

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Episode Resources:

Esther Perel | Website
Esther Perel | Instagram
Esther Perel | TED Speaker
Esther Perel | YouTube
Esther Perel | LinkedIn
Esther Perel | Amazon
Esther Perel | Facebook
Where Should We Begin? Podcast
Where Should We Begin: A Game of Stories

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