When Grandkids Get Caught in High Conflict

In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle questions from grandparents struggling to support grandchildren amidst high conflict co-parents.

Protecting Kids from Raging Co-Parents

First, they advise how grandparents can help shield kids from a raging, unstable parent. Recommendations include teaching emotional regulation, self-checking, and conflict management skills. Stay positive about the high conflict parent.

Co-Parenting with a Difficult Ex Long-Term

Next is guidance for co-parenting long-term with a high conflict, accusatory ex. Bill emphasizes staying calm, balanced, and solution-focused. Praise successes. Accept the limitations on your role as a grandparent.

Getting an Expert Evaluation for Court

Then Bill explains why expert testimony is critical for custody cases with a parent with tendencies like factitious disorder or personality disorders. Experts can explain the need for detailed custody orders.

Minimizing Damage as Kids Grow Up

Finally, they discuss how to minimize damage as kids mature and become more aware of a high conflict parent’s extreme behaviors. Expose kids to reasonable role models and encourage their insights.

Key Takeaways:

• Teach kids emotional regulation and critical thinking
• Stay positive about the high conflict parent
• Get expert testimony for custody cases
• Accept your limited role as a grandparent
• Focus on providing stability

The key is accepting your limited role as a grandparent, focusing on your own behavior, and providing a stabilizing presence for grandchildren. Get support from other grandparents going through similar challenges.

Links & Other Notes:

• COURSES
  • Erasing Family Documentary with Resist/Refuse Commentary from Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
  • Resistance, Refusal and the Child’s Brain
  • New Ways for Families (course for parents in divorce/separation/co-parenting)
• BOOKS
  • Don’t Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce
  • New Ways for Families: Professional Guidebook
  • New Ways for Families: Parent Workbook
  • High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide
  • Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
• VIDEOS
  • The Primitive Emotional Power of Alienation
  • Alienation is Not Normal
  • Overcoming the Contagious Emotions of Alienation
• ARTICLES
  • Is Your Child Alienated?
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
• Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
• All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (00:34) - Grandparents and High Conflict
• (00:58) - Question One
• (16:18) - Question Two
• (22:59) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Workplace Conflict

Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!