If I Speak 84: How to ace a first date (by two very different daters)
Oct 14, 2025
Moya and Ash explore the contrasting worlds of first dates, debating the merits of stranger dates versus indeterminate hangouts. They tackle first-date anxiety and share practical tips for creating low-pressure environments. The hosts delve into the difference between eroticism and dating pressure, offering insights on building intimacy through shared activities. Additionally, they provide advice for a listener struggling with passive-aggressive housemates, blending tough love with actionable steps. Expect laughs and relatable dilemmas throughout!
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The Date Form Feels Oppressive
- Ash argues the "date form" creates an oppressive expectation that distorts interactions with attractive people.
- She prefers indeterminate hangouts where chemistry can emerge without pressure.
Eroticism Can Be Platonic
- Moya contrasts eroticism in platonic friendship with sexual desire and cites Audre Lorde's essay.
- She argues erotic charge can exist without sex and infuse creative, spiritual bonds.
Indeterminacy Lets Authenticity Thrive
- Ash thrives in indeterminate hanging because it lets her express authentic, playful parts of herself.
- She finds canonical "first dates" artificial and anxiety-producing for her.